Hearbroken.

In a couple ways...

My mental and physical self is drained from sadness of the shootings that are going on. There has to be a way to get all of this to stop, but I can't think of anything. I wish it would just stop so no more people have to die, get hurt, or even threatened. And I feel awful for those people that think that shooting people and then turning the gun on themselves is going to solve whatever problem they're facing at the moment. What's going on in their minds that they can't just see one tiny fleck of good in their lives?

You know the feeling of panic when you're having a bad dream and you just can't wake up. Imagine that feeling. Is that how these people feel? Do they think they're in a dream or do they think that if it works in dreams it'll work in real life? Or do they just not know the consequences of their actions before they whip out that gun shoot unsuspecting students, faculty, and random passersby? And how could they possibly think that shooting themselves after shooting other people is going help? I don't understand any way they could possibly be logically reasoning these actions. I don't mean to sound heartless right now, but I'm sure it'll turn out that way (and before you get mad at me, let me explain what I do mean.) Why don't these stressed out people just go straight for themselves? I don't mean they should kill themselves, but I think it's very redundant to take someone else's life before taking your own. If you really wanted those other people dead wouldn't you want to stay around and rot in jail and reap the gratitude of taking their lives? I guess that only seems logical to me. But of course, since they're also killing themselves it shows that they came to some realization of the wrong that just performed and knew they wouldn't be able to face the consequences he or she brought on him or herself. These people need to think all this through before they blow off in a violent fit of rage and murder innocent people.

I don't know where to go from there. I'm mad at these people for taking lives and not being "man enough" to stick around to watch the rest of their lives fall apart. If they can muster up enough guts to kill these innocent people in the first place they should be able to stay alive and deal with the rest of it. If not, they shouldn't worry about these other people because in death they wouldn't have to deal with each other anyway. I'm rambling - I don't know how to put my anger/frustration into non-rambling order. Sorry. But this isn't fair. And I hate it. I hate it.

Yes, I'm angry and these people I don't know, but I hate what they did. I don't know the people they killed, but I could have. This could have happened here at UNK. It could have happened anywhere else that day, but it happened there. Not even close to here and it still hits close to home. And this part feels like the bad dream you can't wake up from...where everybody is turning against everyone else and everyone is dying by the hand of some kid that thought his life would be better if he devastated families and then shot himself.

I think I'm done ranting about this now. I got a little worked up, sorry. I just feel awful about what happened.