One Down, Three To Go.

One final is done
My Criminal Justice class
Is now completed.

Yes! I'm still poetizing!

But serious, I did just take my final in Criminal Justice. I don't know how well I did. Those tests seem too easy - it's like a trick, but then you get the grades back and you did worse than you thought you did anyway - even though you didn't think you were going to do well in the first place. Gah, that was a circle.

Well, I have nothing to do until 3:30 which is when I must head to work until 9.

I think I'm going to head to Wal*Mart now to see Shane and his mommy. :)

Can't Sleep.

I need to sleep. I have my first final test tomorrow at 10:30 and I can't sleep. It is currently past 2:30 in the morning. I've tried reading, tried writing, doodling, everything - and I still can't fall asleep. So maybe, I'm hoping, posting a blog about my lack of sleep will help. Who knows?

I'm really looking forward to this summer. I won't have a lot of free-time but that's okay, it's about time I grow up and work almost everyday, right? Sure.

Anywho - here's to trying to fall asleep.

Dead Week Over.

Today marked the last day of dead week here at the UNK campus. Meaning we only have Saturday and Sunday before finals week starts. I'm pretty excited. I think my finals will go just about as good as they should. And I am definitely ready to get off this campus for awhile. Unfortunately, I won't be able to stay out of Kearney for very long. I'll be driving just about an hour to work five days a week and then almost an hour home after work. Not looking forward to that, but eh, it's money, I guess.

I'm hoping mom and daddy let me get a kitten this summer. Actually, instead of getting a kitten I was thinking about adopting at cat from the Humane Society. I was on their website the other night and found this adorable white calico teenage cat that has the most adorable face! It would be ninety dollars to adopt her, but shots and altering have already been taken care of for her and she's also been declawed. So it's perfect, I think. I really really really hope I can get her...or at least, any cat. If I can't I might see if they'll let me get a partner for my parakeet. He's lonely and needs a lady.

Anywho - it's bedtime.

Sleep.

Everyone around me and that I know of seems to be getting a large amount of not sleep. Right as I type this Shane is sleeping and it's almost noon. There's nothing wrong with that, of course. If your body needs sleep then sleep. Easy as that.

However, I know for sure that I don't get enough sleep at night and if I do it's not a restful sleep so why am I not overly tired during the day? I don't feel, as Jonathan stated, "hungry for sleep." So why does everybody else? I feel kind of left out.

But oh well, I'm sure once I move home all this sleep stuff will catch up with me and I'll be sleeping all day on my days off of work.

It's too windy. It's howling through my window screens and it's annoying. At first it was kind of cool - like "oohh there's a storm coming!" But now it's just, "Eh, storm's over..." Ya know?

Anyway...I'm going to find something to do.

Dead Week.

I loathe dead week. Everyone is all stressing about their finals and panicking because they don't have time for anything! If you're one of these people, I don't hate you, I still only hate dead week. I guess I just find it better to not panic about finals too much. If I let myself worry and panic about this school stuff too much I won't do well on any test or assignment or with life until school's over. I have two and a half test for my finals. The half of a test is taken in class and then there's a take-home part. Then I have half of my final poem to turn in on the last day of finals. I have sixty lines to write. Not bad. I'll do that this afternoon while I'm doing my laundry.

I guess another reason I don't panic so much about school is that it really isn't all that important to me. Sure, it's good to get an education and all that especially if there's something you really want to go into. But school really shouldn't get in the way of living. I don't know how I'm going to explain this, so I might not. ...pause...

I'll just put this out there: I don't like school. I don't think I, and some other people, need school to be happy in life. And I think that school adds too much stress to other people's lives that is completely unnecessary. It costs way too much and the cafeteria food is disgusting - but that is beside the point. I'm not saying everyone should quit school and I'm certainly not boycotting school - ha, me boycott something? - I'm just saying that school is not for everyone, and the people who do like school and want to do well still shouldn't panic about things. Organize your time for the week before and of finals - and do this a couple weeks before so you know what's going on. Know what you're going to study and work on each day and at what time of the day. And make sure you take breaks so you don't get overwhelmed and start panicking again. I sometimes don't take my own advice, but either way I do not panic and worry and stress. I guess that might just not be my nature about school.

Anyway, I have to go to class. Good luck with the last few weeks of school - not sure how much longer everyone else has, but it's coming up. Loves.

Hearbroken.

In a couple ways...

My mental and physical self is drained from sadness of the shootings that are going on. There has to be a way to get all of this to stop, but I can't think of anything. I wish it would just stop so no more people have to die, get hurt, or even threatened. And I feel awful for those people that think that shooting people and then turning the gun on themselves is going to solve whatever problem they're facing at the moment. What's going on in their minds that they can't just see one tiny fleck of good in their lives?

You know the feeling of panic when you're having a bad dream and you just can't wake up. Imagine that feeling. Is that how these people feel? Do they think they're in a dream or do they think that if it works in dreams it'll work in real life? Or do they just not know the consequences of their actions before they whip out that gun shoot unsuspecting students, faculty, and random passersby? And how could they possibly think that shooting themselves after shooting other people is going help? I don't understand any way they could possibly be logically reasoning these actions. I don't mean to sound heartless right now, but I'm sure it'll turn out that way (and before you get mad at me, let me explain what I do mean.) Why don't these stressed out people just go straight for themselves? I don't mean they should kill themselves, but I think it's very redundant to take someone else's life before taking your own. If you really wanted those other people dead wouldn't you want to stay around and rot in jail and reap the gratitude of taking their lives? I guess that only seems logical to me. But of course, since they're also killing themselves it shows that they came to some realization of the wrong that just performed and knew they wouldn't be able to face the consequences he or she brought on him or herself. These people need to think all this through before they blow off in a violent fit of rage and murder innocent people.

I don't know where to go from there. I'm mad at these people for taking lives and not being "man enough" to stick around to watch the rest of their lives fall apart. If they can muster up enough guts to kill these innocent people in the first place they should be able to stay alive and deal with the rest of it. If not, they shouldn't worry about these other people because in death they wouldn't have to deal with each other anyway. I'm rambling - I don't know how to put my anger/frustration into non-rambling order. Sorry. But this isn't fair. And I hate it. I hate it.

Yes, I'm angry and these people I don't know, but I hate what they did. I don't know the people they killed, but I could have. This could have happened here at UNK. It could have happened anywhere else that day, but it happened there. Not even close to here and it still hits close to home. And this part feels like the bad dream you can't wake up from...where everybody is turning against everyone else and everyone is dying by the hand of some kid that thought his life would be better if he devastated families and then shot himself.

I think I'm done ranting about this now. I got a little worked up, sorry. I just feel awful about what happened.

Wednesday And I'm Bored.

I was in my room all day. I hate to admit that I didn't go to either of my classes today. I slept through my first class and just seemed to be too lazy to get off my bum to get to my afternoon class. I feel bad for skipping, but for some reason I just couldn't make myself get to that second class. Bleh.

I finished a project that I've been working on for a few weeks this evening. It's something that I'll be giving to Mom for Mother's Day. It's cute. I hope she likes it. Since I got that done today I feel extra bored not having a project to work on. The blanket that I'm working on is at home in Wilcox so I don't have that to work on. I have a scarf that I'm making here in my dorm room, but it gets pretty boring only working with one color continuously. I'm knitting it. It's fun, but like I said: monotonous.

I watched American Idol tonight. As I do every Tuesday and Wednesday night. Sanjaya got booted tonight. Sorry, but it's about time. There was so much hype about him still being there and that he wasn't that good and whatever else - it was just dumb. I'm glad he's gone just so all that talk is over.

I guess that's all I have to say right now. I was thirsty so I bought chocolate milk - it was good. I think I'll have some more.

Pollen.

I've never been allergic to trees. All my life I've only been allergic to grass pollen, ragweed pollen, and corn dust (most of the time.)

Just recently I've developed an allergy to tree pollen. And it's probably most from maple trees. I don't like it. I can't breathe, can't taste any food, and my throat hurts. And I sound funny when I talk.

Poo. :(

I need drugs.

The Man.

I love this kid.

Published.

I submitted some of my poems to be considered as entries to be published in the colleges fine arts book, Carillon. Two of my haiku poems will be published in this years book. I found out today. And I am, needless to say, pretty darn excited!

Here are the two poems that will be published:

They Never Get The Story Right

I don't believe you.
You can't get anything right!
Down with local news.

I Think You Are Going To Kill Yourself

We are all dying,
But you are dying faster.
Better quit smoking.


They're pretty cheesy - but maybe that's what they were looking for when they reviewed the submissions. I'm thinking about having a party in my honor, of course, to celebrate the being-publishedness of Me. Ha - I never would have gotten any poem published if I used the word publishedness. Oh man.

Anywho, thought I'd share the news!

WalMart Downers.

People, customers, don't understand how frustrated we associates get when they don't listen to us. They go on and on about a problem that we cannot solve - but we know who can - and we get behind in answering more problematic phone calls and the yelling piles up. Just listen to us when we say we will direct you to another department that will be able to help with your problem. We don't know what the hell you are talking about - but someone else might so just hang on the line while we transfer your call. And have a nice day sir or ma'am.

Don't walk down the middle of the busiest isles of WalMart intently looking at things that have always and will always be on that rack. Move to the side of the isle so other customers and disgruntled associates can get by you. An associate might just be running to the other side of the store to check on something in a completely different department for a call-in customer that has already started using short staccato'd answers and hugely irritated tones. We're sorry you have the disability of WalkDownTheMiddleOfTheIsleSlowly syndrome - I don't think they've found the cure yet, but until they do try your hardest to please be courteous to other people.

If you call in to WalMart to ask a question please ask yourself the question first and make sure you definitely can't answer it yourself. If you call with a price-check or two, fine; but when you call in just to make sure we carry some certain product...well, I have one thing to say: We're WalMart, it's almost a given that we carry whatever it is, unless of course it's a farfetched made-up item that you dreamt up just to cause the associate answering your call unnecessary stress.

If you call in saying that you forgot a sack of paid-for items at the register you checked out at, don't give us the whole story. We, honestly, don't care that you spent so much money on groceries. We don't need to know that you were there between your two favorite shows and that you went to the bathroom and jumped up and down on one foot for two hours trying to find something in our store - we only need to know that you didn't get home with all your paid-for items. And we will then kindly and appreciatively direct you up to the Service Desk where they will check and see if they have the items you didn't get home. It's really a very simple process. And please don't get angry with us if you forgot something in the store. It's not our fault. It's especially not the fault of the person answering the phone when you call with your problem. We cannot watch over you making sure you get all your sacks in your cart and moreso, in your vehicle once you leave the store. We're sorry it happened to you, but it's really your responsibility to grab all, if not most, of the items you paid for. Don't yell at us over the phone.

Please don't snap at the associate answering the phone if your call doesn't get answered. We can only do so much behind the phone. We answer your call. We direct the call to where it needs to go. And we can page the associate and/or department a few times. But we cannot run all over the store making sure each department answers their calls. That's their own business. If they choose not to answer the call or take a long time to get to a phone to take the call, it is not our fault. WalMart is a busy place, I'm sure you've all noticed. We're sorry that sometimes things take longer than necessary. We associates get frustrated, too, when things take longer than they should and we have to deal with it longer than just the length of a phone call. Just be patient with us, we're doing all we can to make you happy so try to make ours a little easier.

WalMart is not a daycare. Do not let your children run around unsupervised unless you want them to get hurt, lost, or worse. We cannot look out for everyone in that store. They are your children, not ours, they are your responsibility. When they cry it disrupts the already hectic atmosphere that is WalMart. I understand that babies will cry. But older children do not need to throw fits in public the way I've seen them do. And they have no reason to run around screaming and tearing things from racks and shelves. Don't let them do that, parents. It's not only your responsibility, but their behavior reflects your parenting. And do not make a scene yelling at your children in the store. That's even worse than your kids yelling. If you can't control your children any other way than screaming back at them, they and yourself shouldn't be in public in the first place.

Don't be rude and put things from one department in another. Don't look at something you put in your cart and decide you don't need it anymore and bury it in the t-shirts or the towels across the store. If you're close enough please put the item away where you found it, at least close to where you found it. Or if you do not want to travel back to the origin of location, give the item to the nearest WalMart associate and they will kindly put it back for you. We won't yell at you for asking to put something back for you. We would be honored. It makes less work for us. We would be happy to do something like that for you.

Don't fill your cart up and leave the store, leaving the cart in softlines (the clothes departments) with groceries and milk and other perishable items. It's irresponsible of you, the customer, and shows everyone that you're rude. It makes more work for the associates. Sure, we get paid to do that kind of stuff. But when customers are rude to us, eventually it just gets hard for we associates to grin and bare it. Be nice and we'll be extremely friendly back. We try to be as nice as we can be to start with, but when you treat us like we're crap we don't appreciate it. We're humans too, just trying to make money at this job.

I guess all I'm trying to say is that customers at WalMart could be nicer. We try our hardest to make your experience at WalMart quick and painless. Unfortunately, as we try to do so, we end up getting beat up (in the metaphoric sense.) Yes, there are the customers that are just amazing. They're nice, they say thank you and please, they aren't irritating, they don't treat the associates like crap, and most of all they understand that working at WalMart is a job, too. So it's not a nice fancy desk job, but it's not all that bad. What makes it bad is the people that come in and ruin our day just like a crabby client would ruin your day at your high-paying, I-sit-in-an-office-all-day job. Congratulations on getting that job by the way. But please please please, let us do our job. Because we're doing our job for you.

And this has been Kaylee's rant'n'rage about WalMart and the customers I've, thus far, encountered in my almost-6-month experience of working there. I apologize at it's lengthiness. It could be worse. I could have gone into detail.

Just A Tuesday.

No news today.

American Idol is on tonight. Followed by House. We will watch both.

Had a pretty good day in British Literature today. We had a good discussion about what we are reading and we had a chance to joke around and laugh. I guess it was good because it was lighthearted - compared to other days when we just sit there and listen to her carry on about nothing as she stutters and interjects her hm?'s and yes?'s. It's usually what she says is the only thing you should ever know again, but today she actually asked for our opinions and partially agreed with a couple of them - being as most of our opinions were just jokes regarding the reading for today. Either way, it was good that she was smiling with the class today.

How is everyone else doing? Good, I hope!

Back To The Basics.

I'm having a problem.

(s)?...Yeah, it's plural.

Work. School. More work. Aches and pains that get in the way of everything else.

I'm not going into detail about anything, but please bare with me if I do start rambling about random preoccupations of my life.

I will be using this blog again for everyday type postings - and I will continue to post poems when I find or write a new one.

That's all I have for now.

MySpace and Im-Personality.

Today I decided I'm getting rid of my MySpace account. It was a hinder on my...self. I guess. Sure, it's a great way to keep in touch with friends. But there's also phone calls, emails, letters, a quick visit, a girls day out, a movie night, need I go on? It seems that lately all people can do on MySpace is bicker and start rumors and create all this unnecessary drama that no one should have to put up with. Some people just need drama in their life and that's sad. I feel bad for those people because they just can't stop hurting themselves or others just so they can have something to complain about and cry themselves to sleep at night about.

Okay, MySpace can be a great way to show off your personality. You can design your profile to reflect yourself. But how many people just use MySpace to meet people 'cause they're too scared to do so in person. They hide behind a computer screen and emoticons and never get close enough to other people. No hugs. No real smiles. Just a computer screen full of lies and crude emoticons.

And then there's the people that add friends just to make their number go up. It's some kind of competition with those people. Hey, I only have 30 friends on my current account - and I know all of them - excluding one - Bif Naked. I just love her music. It's disturbing how many people you can call a MySpace friend and how few people you can truly call Friend.

I'm getting away from MySpace not to shut out my friends and displace myself from the cyber-world, but to start a LifeSpace. Turn off the computer once in a while and stop worrying about how many emails are going around about the mistakes you made. And don't stress out if you don't fill out the latest survey going around. Go out and meet people and let them just find out who you are in person. Stop being impersonal.

Thanks for reading my rant.

Buffy.

Buffy
Kaylee A. Ferree

Buffy musical
I've no one to watch it with
Except maybe...me?