Style in the Middle of the Night.

Here I sit, 1:30am, watching Style. What's on Style? Oh nothing, just a little show all about cheating celebrity couples. Why am I watching this crap? There's nothing else on. Oh and everytime I lay down to fall asleep my nose plugs back up and I can't breathe. I have to keep sitting - and that's not the most comfortable position for sleeping.

A few minutes ago (yeah this is basically Blogging in Realtime) I was half sitting, half lounging on the couch watching this amazing show with all the lights off in the living room. (Just an extra tidbit of information: I am so lightheaded because of my sinuses right now, it's very ridiculous.) All of a sudden, I thought I saw something out of the corner of my unfocused eye. Usually, when I "see" something, there's nothing there - especially at 1:30 in the morning. I turned my head anyway. And lo, and behold! There was actually something there! Yes! A SPIDER!

The other day there was a huge spider that was threatening me so I've been on edge about spiders lately. I just can't stand them like I used to. When I younger I'd just go ahead and pick it up (despite the size) or killed it with my bare feet. I guess this is like a person's tastebuds changing - only every 7 years I change my fears. Ha. Wow that sounds incredibly sane, right?

Anyway, there goes Kaylee - jumping off the couch to get even further away from the beast on the wall. I turned on all the lights I could and ran to the kitchen for the broom. This next part even surprises me. I, Kaylee, actually swung the broom in the general direction of the spider! I don't do these kinds of things! I must have hit the wall pretty close to the spider because it got flung to the floor and onto the multi-colored rug. I searched and searched and finally decided that the damned creature must have hid under the couch or was just that well camouflaged. When I came back from putting the broom away, very warily, I approached the rug. I shook out the blanket on the couch and peeked behind the pillows - no Mr. Scary. Then, from out of nowhere, he appeared right next to my flip-flop! (This is where I would add suspenseful music if I was making a movie.) Hurriedly, and yet carefully, I grabbed the twin flip-flop and started hitting, not exactly sure I was hitting the spider or just making an ass of myself.

And the beast was stricken to the ground! Yeah, it was basically that epic. You would not have laughed at me at all if you had been here. Nope, I was acting so normal that you would have mistaken me for someone else. Really.

Spider's dead.

Oh and if the title threw you off, let me explain in more detail. I don't actually have any style at any point on any given night. I am anti-style at this time of the night. And the murdering of a spider does not, in any way, create the illusion of style. No, it's exactly the opposite - barbaric, primitive, and oh-so-not-classy.

To all: Happy Spider Killing!