Feelings.

Today has been a sad, upsetting day.

It started off badly. I had set my alarm for 7 this morning because...

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Well, as I was typing that Shane called me. Technically, he had called me back.

I had a bad day today. All day - was bad. The worst part was when I got some really crappy news from Shane. We're, I guess going to talk about this thing tomorrow or something - so not only did I have all day to worry about it, I get to worry about it all day tomorrow too! I'm ready for the worst - I'll just put it that way.

This is, by far, the worst feeling I've ever had. And I can't stop crying. I just finished off my box of tissues.

Today has surely marked our 4th month together as a real bad one. I wish it would have been different. Much different. In fact - I wish I could have today to do over. I just wouldn't have woken up at all - slept all day. Skipped work, not answered my phone...it would have been just great. But I can't do that. All I can do is sit here and cry - and eventually I'll probably cry myself to sleep holding my pillows like they might leave me, too.

I hate Saturdays.