This Weekend.

It's Sunday so the weekend is almost over and I didn't really get much of a weekend. Work has been border-line stressful. Friday was the worst! Yesterday we thought it was going to be horrible 'cause we only had three people in the morning, but it actually turned out alright. I work tonight and then again tomorrow evening. I'm looking forward to next Saturday - I don't have to work! Somehow I got the whole day off!!

As of yesterday I have had Bubs, my fish, for three weeks - it's a record for me! And as of tomorrow Shane and I have been engaged for two weeks! And it's been fabulous.

My friend Sarena's wedding is the latter part of June - I'm looking forward to it. It's so exciting! This is the first wedding I'll be attending that is one of my friends' weddings - all the others I've been to are friends of the family (so not my friends) or family weddings...so it's really exciting to be able to get to go to one of my closest friend's wedding! And it's also exciting to think that soon I'm going to be starting to plan MY wedding! Can you believe that?! It's amazing! This long engagement thing will be a good deal for all the planning that weddings entail.

Anyway, I have to go and get ready for work. Have a great week!

Half of a Sleepless Night...

I went to bed around midnight. Didn't have too much trouble falling asleep. While asleep however I kept dreaming that I was cashiering at work, because they had me up checking for almost two hours last night. I woke up around 4 and have tried desperately for the last hour to fall back asleep, but I can't.

My back and shoulders are killing me, my foot is still killing me, and now I have this weird ache one side of my throat. My body can't decide if I'm hot or cold and my stomach is feeling a little icky. I think I might be getting sick. That is something I really don't need right now. Sure I'd love to just lie in bed all day and read a book and sleep whenever, but I have work also. I need to get paid for something! I don't know...

Tuesday Shane and I are going to my Grandparents' house to tell them the news. I'm more nervous having to tell my Grandparents' that I'm getting married than I was when I thought I had to tell my parents about it. Haha. Thank God Shane went to them first like a good boy.

I guess I'm going to try to fall asleep again...not likely, but it's worth trying.

Suicide.

Don't worry, not me.

I was heading over to my television to feed my beta fish, Bubs - his bowl is on top of it. Bubs, I've known since I got him, is a very aggressive fish. Every morning when I feed him he attacks his food and he quickly dives to the bottom of the bowl and tries to bury himself in the rocks. He does this whether or not I'm around his bowl. Today was horrible! I took the lid off to feed him - usually I keep the lid off while he eating so he can better see the food and so far it's been alright. Today...oh my...I took the lid off and reached for his food and that's when he made his escape - onto the top of my television. Now betas don't flop around when they're out of water (I just learned) so I thought he was instantly dead. No, I tried to scoop him back in his water when he jumped again and hit my leg and basically rolled down to my carpeted floor. Again, he didn't flop around making me assume he was, actually this time, dead. As I was trying to scoop him up in my hands he jumped again and then once more when I just moved to have a better angle at him. Finally I just waited until he jumped, caught him in my hands (which was weird) and plopped him back in his water. He's fine. Probably doesn't even know what happened. I fed him - with the lid on this time - and he ate just like normal, attacking his food and diving to the bottom. Since Bubs is a pretty big beta I think I'm going to tape the lid down so he can't push it open.

Apparently fish need to take walks too.

Wednesday.

Ha, I just had the worst time trying to type "Wednesday." How weird.

Mom and I just got back from a little walk. We had to go mail some stuff at the post office - one thing was an RSVP to a couple friends' wedding. Sarena and Dan. I'm so excited for their wedding. It's next month. They're real good for each other and they're pretty cute together too! :) Hehe.

Shane was and still is in the North Platte area today. I think right now he's in Hershey visiting family and he might be staying with them tonight so he can maybe go a hiring session for UP tomorrow morning.

I have two posters to hang up in my room so I think I'm going to do that and read more of the book I started yesterday. It's called "A Song In Ordinary Time" and it's opening kind of slow. But mom says is real good and that she really liked it so I'm looking forward to getting past page 16 haha.

I'm also going to be baking oatmeal/chocolate chip cookies this afternoon. Yay! Cookies!

A...Four? Book Reviews...

I have officially been finished with my 2007 Spring Semester at the University of Nebraska at Kearney for twelve days. In that time I have completed the readings of four novels. Let me further explain:

*The first book I finished is "The Memory Keeper's Daughter" by Kim Edwards. I started reading it a week or so after my 20th birthday in February. Having started reading it during a semester in which I had two separate English classes I had very little time to enjoy this book in between my British literature novels and my Poetry compilations. However, it added a very nice get-away from my boring homework on nights that I found myself wide awake and full of reading strength.

I don't wish to give away all the details of any of the books that I have read this summer, but I will give insight to some intriguing story lines. In "The Memory Keeper's Daughter" we meet a man and a woman who are newly married and become pregnant and this all starts around the '50s. The woman ends up having twins that are delivered by her doctor husband (lucky I would say.) The first born was a boy they name Paul and the second a girl. They were not expecting twins and when she was born the doctor-slash-dad noticed the regular hints of Downs syndrome in the facial features of the little baby girl and passes the baby off to the attending nurse to take her to an institution to save the mother from trying to raise a "touched" child.

Problems and the lie the father is holding from his wife escalate and soon they fall apart. The nurse decides to keep the little girl, Pheobe, to raise as her own - going through their own struggles. It's a very touching book but I, personally, became almost angry at parts trying to get the characters to do what I wanted them to do in my head. But with no such avail. It is a very good book and I do recommend it to anyone that likes a good, touching story from time to time.

*The second book that I finished was one that I finished the day after I completed "The Memory Keeper's Daughter." It's called "Yours Until Dawn" by Teresa Medeiros. You might not have heard the name. Most likely it's because you are not familiar with romance novels. Let me define quickly that there are two kinds of romance novels. There are the smut-romance novels and the love-romance novels. This was border-line. It was a beauty-and-the-beast story, which is my favorite kind of story/fairy-tale/Disney movie. It's a sweet endearing love story with a little of the "smut" mixed in, but it's not overly exaggerated as it is in full-blown smut-romance novels.

It's a good read if you have the time. It's definitely an easy-read, but it is long. Three hundred and seventy-three pages long. I still haven't figured how you can make a romance novel drag on that long.

In any case, there are two main characters, Samantha and Gabriel. He's blind and he has a nasty scar on his face; both resulting from a war. She is a new nurse at his mansion - by the way, he's a rich'n. She grins and bares his hatefulness and obnoxious behavior and they both end up falling for each other. Of course, there is a great twist at the end of the novel that I wasn't even expecting!

I wouldn't recommend this book to just anybody. I guess you have to have the stomach for lovey-dovey romance novels.

*"House of Leaves" written by Mark Z. Danielewski was the third book I finished - the same night I finished "Yours Until Dawn," in fact. I started it almost two years ago when I received the book as a gift from my parents. I had asked for it because it seemed rather interesting. On further inspection, i.e. reading it, I found it to be quite dull and yet still too over-done in parts.

It's a very confusing book. In fact, it's a piece of artwork rather than a book. I don't mean the story was that good, I mean very plainly that the pages are white with scattered and mix-matched fonts, alignments, and written-gibberish. I've never seen anything like that that was purposefully made that way. It was a headache to get through; trying to save your place as you locate and read a three-page footnote. I tell you, it was getting ridiculous. But I finished it, thank you.

Listen carefully, unless you're extremely curious as to what this book is really like DON'T read it. Please, save yourself. It's not worth opening. I was horribly disappointed. All the reviews I read on it were very good, even the bad reviews were good! But the book was awful. And now I feel like Simon Cowell. Just don't read it.

*And finally the fourth book of the twelve days: "Lilith's Dream" by Whitely Strieber. It was a novel, yes. A rather disappointing novel it turned out to be. I hate reading the backs of books before I read them but I bought this one off a bargain-book shelf and it was fairly new - 2002 - and it looked very promising. This author I guess specializes in writing about vampires. I can say truthfully that I enjoy a good vampire movie or book every once in a while. This one, however, was pushing the threshold of my liking a little too much for comfort. Because it was a modern-day vampire story it jumped around a lot and there was a lot to do with government and CIA and New York. Not a big fan.

And surely, you can't ever have a vampire novel without a couple strange "love"-scenes scattered throughout the book whenever the author backs himself into a tight corner. The finally he breaks free of his writer's block long enough to throw in a chase scene or a decent dialog between a human woman, a half-vampire man, and their 1/16th-vampire son. Don't worry the whole book is not that weird or confusing.

I would actually recommend this book. It's lengthy but good. It's written well, apart from that over-done vampire-on-vampire action that really doesn't make any book any better.

Out of those four "The Memory Keeper's Daughter" was my favorite. I am currently out of new reading material. I just stayed up until five in the morning finishing half of "Lilith's Dream" and I guess I'm not even tired. I'm basically running on all adrenaline and I will eventually crash, and it will be bad.

Well, those were my four book reviews. I hope you enjoyed them. After I finish another book I'll get back to with another review.

A Lifetime...

Well, needless to say, Shane and I talked about everything that was progressing in our lives.

And he was holding a little secret against me for the last day.

He had talked to my parents regarding some very important matter that I didn't find out about until tonight after we had a nice dinner in Kearney.

He...

PROPOSED!

We are now engaged...to be married. And it's amazing! I can say I am the future Mrs. Yetter.

AH! I'm so excited!

Feelings.

Today has been a sad, upsetting day.

It started off badly. I had set my alarm for 7 this morning because...

_______

Well, as I was typing that Shane called me. Technically, he had called me back.

I had a bad day today. All day - was bad. The worst part was when I got some really crappy news from Shane. We're, I guess going to talk about this thing tomorrow or something - so not only did I have all day to worry about it, I get to worry about it all day tomorrow too! I'm ready for the worst - I'll just put it that way.

This is, by far, the worst feeling I've ever had. And I can't stop crying. I just finished off my box of tissues.

Today has surely marked our 4th month together as a real bad one. I wish it would have been different. Much different. In fact - I wish I could have today to do over. I just wouldn't have woken up at all - slept all day. Skipped work, not answered my phone...it would have been just great. But I can't do that. All I can do is sit here and cry - and eventually I'll probably cry myself to sleep holding my pillows like they might leave me, too.

I hate Saturdays.

Just As I Thought...

Well, I finished reading two books today. That's how un-exciting my life was today.

I passed all my classes this semester - finally got all my grades back. Parents really don't seem to care. They say "good job" but that's it and they don't even sound too happy about it. Lately I've really been considering quitting school and working full-time at Wal*Mart even though that would surely be the death of me.

My new fishie Bubs is aggressive yet surprisingly timid. He's paradoxical just as I.

Something really hasn't been "right" between Shane and myself for the last couple of days. I don't know - it's not like we're "growing apart" or we're getting too used to each other, it's just...I think it's because we're not constantly in each other's line of sight as of late. He's in Axtell and I'm in Wilcox and gas is expensive and life is going crazy. And most of that has nothing to do with anything save for my mind's troubled rants. Monday when Shane came over I got angry and frustrated for a reason that is probably still unknown to him. I didn't know how to talk to him about it, and now it's over and we finished the day like there was something wrong but we didn't care. Then today, right now, I'm a little upset because I told him at noon when I called him that if he wants to give me a call anytime today he can. And he didn't. Sure I had woken him up when I called to tell him that, but I just feel like he would have wanted to call me anyway. I just called him a couple minutes ago and he was playing his video game that I gave him for his birthday. I'm glad he likes playing it, but our "conversation", if you could call it that, was being staggered by swords clinking and his one-track mind reverting back to his game after I tell him something that is actually, in my mind, kind of impressive. Sure, anyone could have done what I accomplished today, but I was proud of myself and I had no one to share it with except my loving boyfriend who over-appreciates his birthday present. I dismissed myself from the call and started typing. Probably a bad action on my part, he's going to read this and say that I should have just talked to him about it. Well, of course I should have! But I can't seem to compete with my own given gift.

Just to note, this is not an angry blog. This is a Kaylee's-getting-her-feelings-out blog. Otherwise, I don't have anyone to talk to.

Gas prices are going up again and faster than they did last summer. It's sick the way they raise gas prices even though our dollar has hardly any value anymore. Why don't we just go back to the good old bartering days - I'll give you three eggs for a tank of gas, sir. Damn anyone who tries to make this world better by raising prices.

I might be bitter right now. But about what, I do not know. Nor do I care to know. I just know that I might be bitter and that it probably won't subside until tomorrow morning when I wake up. Then of course I will have to leave for work and all my troubles will come flooding back and I will return home tomorrow night with a headache and bad case of I Hate The World. But I really don't. But I will just for the night. Tomorrow night when I relieve myself of the apparently hard job we have in Softlines, Kathy. That job that it so overwhelming that you can stand there for 40 minutes talking with people while NOT doing your job. Or have you forgotten, Kathy, that there are other people in this world too? Do you know that Sunday I was close to quitting MY job because you weren't doing YOUR job? That's right, Kathy. Sweet Kathy that everyone likes. I worked the jobs of 3 people on Sunday for five hours while you did the job of a sloth at the zoo for 4 hours and yet we both got paid - relatively the same amount as well.

Right now I am torn between wanting to just suck up all this bitterness and dislike for some people and things and just deal with it like nothing has ever gone wrong in my life or wanting to unleash these pent up emotions to the people and things that have put said emotions in my life. I could go around being a sweet emotionless girl for the rest of my life if I wished, but I am also completely capable of being the girl that no one wants to know because she wears every one of her emotions and feelings and thoughts on her sleeve - some people just don't want to know the truth. I know part of the truth. I know the world is cruel and that people lie. I've lied. I've learned from experience that anyone is capable of being hurt and everyone is more than capable of hurting someone else. And I've also learned that no matter how hard you try to please everyone you come into contact with, somewhere along the way you will unintentionally hurt someone and it's usually the one person you never want to hurt, even if it costs you everything.

Today was mom and dad's twentieth anniversary. They're happy. At least that's what I can assume from living with them for twenty years.

I think I'm done typing for now. I apologize that this post had no turn of events, no climax, not even a resolution, or a well-written epilogue. Maybe someday people will be able to read those in some book that I write. If I ever get around to writing one. A good one. Not a sappy, life is always great, the world is peaceful kind of book. But a book written with true emotion and just plain Truth. (Capitalized for emphasis. Some writers do that, ya know.)

Two Classes.

So far only two of my final grades are up on the WebEasi site. I passed both my Natural Disasters class and my Criminal Justice class - unfortunately, I barely passed them with a D+. Uhg. At least I did get through, right? I guess. They were two of the last three general studies classes I had to take. I still have my foreign language course - which I'm taking the next two semesters.

I still don't have my other two final grades up for my Poetry class and my British Literature cares. I'm sure they're just fine.

I rearranged some of the furniture in my bedroom today. I moved my television to where my desk was. And my desk is on the adjacent wall. And there's a stand next to my bed now - where my television used to be. It works a lot better than how I had it. I couldn't see my television when I laid on my bed, now I can. It's great.

Bedtime is nigh.

Guess What...

This is my 60th blog post! Yay!

Right. So it's not that big of a deal, but...

I got nothing.

Just thought I'd make an appearance. I'm out.