Good Day.

To start off: for the last three or so weeks I have found myself in a state of (self-titled) surface depression. I guess that sort of explains itself, right? Like, I'm not completely depressed to the point I'm suffocating on my own self-loathing. I'm just sad. A lot. And upset. And I can't seem to find much that makes me real happy.

Shane makes me happy. A lot. Basically all the time, but who's keeping track? And I feel bad because sometimes I don't show how happy I am to be with him because I'm letting so much else weigh me down. Work. Upcoming school. Work some more. Family stuff. My own faults. Money. Life. Religion. Or lack there of. I don't know. This last three weeks have been bad and I'm sorry to any people I've hurt, made upset, or haven't seem to notice because of my own bad days.

However. Today. Was. Good. Last night I promised Shane that I would eventually find a day that I was completely happy the entire day. Today wasn't quite that day. But it was pretty darn close. The morning started off pretty rocky, but as the day progressed I felt much better. Shane and I had a fun time hanging out at my house. I baked a cake and we watched Star Wars Episode II. Great movie. He had to leave early to go to North Platte for his interview that is tomorrow morning.

Mom's Family Night Dress Rehearsal of Always...Patsy Cline was tonight. Taylor and I went and picked up Grandma and drove to the Opera House to see it. It was wonderful! Mom is so talented and amazing!! Dad met us there. He thought it was awesome, too.

I've stopped singing for reasons that only I can really understand - I think - but after tonight having seen Mom up on the stage singing and acting her heart out I really want to start singing again. But I just don't know how to go about doing that without getting taken advantage of. And anymore it's hard to find anyone else that will care the smallest bit about you if you can't play an instrument yourself. Who cares if you can sing? Why don't you learn to play the guitar? I just don't know what to do about it. I need help, but again, I wouldn't know where to start looking for it.

Anyway - that was my random blog of the evening.