My Decision To Not Wear Makeup.

Having a baby changes your priorities. You no longer come first. Your baby eats before you eat, she gets comforted when you are uncomfortable, and holding her is more important than going to the bathroom (apparently). These reasons plus the fact that I stay at home with my daughter everyday are why I haven't had time to stand in front of the mirror and do my hair and makeup. Heck, sometimes I don't even get a chance to shave both legs when I'm in the shower. 

I don't need to put on makeup to take care of my daughter, even if I had the time and energy to do so. So, I started thinking have I ever needed makeup? I sure thought I did. Back in high school it was the dark eye shadow with a whole pencil worth of eye liner. In college it was a little less but more mascara. Before I got married I wore it only when going out or at work. After getting married it was probably less but I'd still put it on before leaving the house only then it was the nice foundation-shading with blush and a dusty rose pink eye shadow and conservative eye liner and mascara. 

As for my hair, well...it has never done what I want it to so it was never "fancy." Ponytails, straight down, sometimes curled, sometimes straightened, and then my phase in high school/early college that I thought pigtails were fun. Okay I still think they're fun and they get the hair out of my face. I have dyed my hair so many times I'm surprised I'm not bald; that was back in high school and it was usually weird colors or highlights. In college I dyed my hair completely black. That was probably my favorite thing I had ever done to my hair - except when I couldn't color over it and I was stuck with this weird "ombre" look while it grew out long enough to cut off. A few years ago I tried a perm. And as I expected my hair wouldn't even take that. It straightened itself out within months and I never tried it again. And now, with having a baby, ponytails keep the spit-up and slobber and little grabby hands away from my hair. 

So now you know the history of my makeup wearing, hair doing days. Shall we talk about the future? Sure, the no-makeup-wearing decision has been made for me with having a clingy baby but now I have thought about it and have consciously made my own mind up - no more makeup. (The hair, well...it was never a big deal. Ha.) Here's what I think:

Why should a woman (or girl) cover her face with fake stuff to impress people? If we know anything about the human race and our society it's that people are super judgey. I need to wear makeup to make me look better so people like me. Okay, well if you're worried about those people liking you in the first place, why would you want their approval? People are going to judge you whether you wear makeup or not. They will find something. And this isn't a 'I have lost all hope in humanity' speech; I'm only saying that a person shouldn't seek approval from a world that is already against them. Just be who you are. Now if wearing makeup "for realsies" makes you happy, then wear makeup! But don't do it for someone else.

Your face is your face! It is no one else's face. Why make it look like everyone else's face? You shouldn't, that's why. I see all those before/after posts of how makeup makes "plain" girls miraculously look like models. (And who says being a model is a goal to achieve?) In fact, here's one now. All that shading and painting and stenciling...mercy. First, what a time waster! Secondly, they all look the same! Why can't you look like yourself anymore? Everyone is looking for individuality but they end up being another invisible person. No wonder there is so much depression and suicide out there today. You think you need to be unhappy with your natural appearance so you do what makes you look "normal" to other people but then you blend in to the background and you get looked over or ignored by the people you were trying to impress in the first place. Gosh, don't sign me up for that one. In that article I linked to, I think all those before pictures are more beautiful than the afters. Sure, there are flaws - everyone has them, but that's what makes you YOU. With makeup I have an even complexion, eyes that pop, and less noticeable pimples. Without makeup I have three gigantic freckles on my face among my smaller ones, a scar on my right eyebrow, and washed out eyes due to my pale eyelashes. There, that's all out in the open so I don't need to hide it anymore. I have accepted my "flaws" because I can't change them (okay, I could with some plastic surgery, but...oh, I better not get started on that subject...)

In all the thinking I've been doing I recalled a passage from Scripture:

3 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.  1 Peter 3: 3-6

But you say, hey! I'm not married...this does not apply to me. Well, I say, hey! Yes it does! You know how they say you shouldn't enter into a relationship with lies? If you start a relationship based solely on appearance and "faking" who you really are on the inside, isn't that as good as a lie? Should you doll yourself up and look like a model to go out and meet Mr. Right? Do you want a man that will want you only if you look like you just stepped out of the salon? Or do you want a man that sees you, the natural you, and says Yup that's her. He can't see you through all that makeup, dear. Superficial based relationships are just that - superficial. They're empty. If that is what you want though, don't let me step on your toes. But wouldn't it just be so much better to have a relationship in which you can have deep conversations and know - truly know - that your husband loves you for who you are and not just what you look like? 

If worrying about your appearance and applying makeup and doing your hair is taking up a lot of your time it has become an idol to you. You can say I'm not worshiping my makeup but actually you are. You are making it a higher priority than things that matter; you are putting it in place of what God has given you. He gave you that face and you are making the outright choice to cover it up to look different...to look better. Ouch! Hey God, I know you love me and made me look the way I do, but I don't like it so...

Alright, so some of my arguments are on the basis that it takes an hour to do your makeup and longer for your hair and that you think about your appearance more than you think about being a good wife/person. These are obviously extreme situations. However, I believe that even just slapping on some blush and mascara real quick is like saying I'm a recovering alcoholic so I'll just have one shot of tequila. Okay, that's an extreme analogy too, but it makes sense. If you're not going to go all out, why do it at all? The people you have in your life don't care if you are wearing makeup and if they do - if they actually have a problem with it - what kind of choices did you make to have them in your life in the first place? Sure, I was wearing makeup the first time my husband saw me years ago. It was the first day of college and of course I wanted to look nice! But it was class, an early class at that, and eventually I stopped wearing makeup. He saw me several times without makeup before we even started dating. And now, having been together for 7 years and married for 6, he has seen me at my absolute worst! He doesn't care...at least he says he doesn't. Ha!

I have better things to do with my time than cover up the face God gave me. So I have made the conscious decision to not wear makeup. Believe me I feel l like a hypocrite already and I haven't even published this post. In my head I'm thinking will I NEVER wear makeup again, really? What if I'm invited to some fancy party with dresses and stuff? Ha! For the record, Kaylee will never be invited to fancy parties like that because she doesn't know anyone that throws those kinds of shindigs. So, I guess I'm in the clear. And I can't say for 100% certainty that I will never wear makeup again, but it will be a special occasion. A holiday, family pictures, starring in a television show. (I don't think the latter will ever happen though. And if it does I'll be cast as Girl With No Makeup #1.)

So there you go. My decision to not wear makeup. 

Nightmares.

In 3 days it will be exactly two years since my last post. If you read the last post I believe toward the end I mention that it will probably be another 2 years before I post again.  Haha... Do I know myself or what?

I have started a new blog about my adventures in being a new mommy.  You can find it here or through my Blogger and Google+ accounts.

The last couple of nights I have had some weird nightmares.  Whatever is actually happening isn't really scary in a nightmare sort of way but there is this underlying feeling of doom and gloom.

The first is already fading from memory. What I remember is hallways, a small child that then became an adult in the next "scene", and my sister as a teenager. I think in the dream I was with a group of people walking to a certain location. I didn't recognize the town but I felt like I shouldn't be there.  I was comforting my sister while we walked - but I don't know why. We get to this old house and go inside and then I'm by myself, but not in a scary slasher film kind of way.  I was just checking out this old house that was almost fully down to its bones. Wires were exposed, any and all carpet had been ripped up, drywall was falling off the walls in chunks. I turned down one hallway and as I walked I realized I had to keep hunching over more and more and eventually I was crawling.  At the end of this hallway there  was a door leading to a stairway that kind of twisted upward.  The doorway was so small that I could only fit my head and one shoulder through to look.  I couldn't see anything so I called out for my sister.  I could hear her answering back from somewhere in the house.  The young child we were with came down the stairs in front of me, now an adult but still small, and crouched down so she could look at me through the door frame.  She said "hello" in a creepy tone and started to mumble something I couldn't make out.  I started backing out of the doorway but the hallway was completely tiny at this point and was made up of doorways going all the way back to where I started. It was like one of those pictures of a mirror inside a mirror inside a mirror and so on.  I had to crawl backwards and I remember my hips and shoulders kept brushing the sides of the door frames and it was starting to hurt.  This whole time I wasn't panicked I just knew that I had to get out of there because that child-now-adult was bad news somehow. That's all I can remember from that one.

The one I had last night was less "gloomy" but it still had an odd feeling about it.  My husband and I were driving back from somewhere and we were on a highway. We had left our baby with my parents while we were on this trip and I was anxious to get back to her. In the car, I looked to my right and saw this huge tornado shaped cloud. (In real life I think tornadoes are beautiful but still highly dangerous - even more so now that I have a baby.) I start freaking out asking my husband if he could see any rotation. I couldn't but then again my eyes had become blurry and couldn't focus on anything. (Darn dream eyes.) Somehow we managed to get to my Grandma's house in the same town my parents live but couldn't make it any further. While there, a strange man showed up wanting to see inside the house. We didn't let him in and he kept hanging around the house in the yard. At this point I was babysitting a friend's baby and was waiting to get a call from my friend to know when she was coming to get her son. That strange man was still lurking so I got the idea in my head to go out to the garage and startle him into leaving.  It didn't work I guess.

Then my daughter started crying and woke me up.  I have never had so many of these creepy dreams lumped together in such a short period of time. I wish I could define the feeling each of these dreams have. Even after waking up I have the heebie-jeebies for a while. And then when I go to bed I remember the weird dreams from the previous night and that's probably what triggers more of them. I wish I could remember every detail of any of my dreams. But usually the timing of events is off or all jumbled together.

Work and so on...

It has been a while. Hello! I'm still here!

What's new? you ask. Well, let me tell you:

Nothing. You were expecting something a lot...less boring? more exciting? ...something? Yeah, right. I have to say that life has been progressing at its normal speed since the last night I posted something.

I'm still working at that same place I last posted about (I had to reread the last couple posts to know where I left off.) I've actually been promoted twice within the store in the almost two years I've been working there. From lowly peon I was bumped up to Front Counter Team Leader and then a couple weeks after that to Customer Service Manager. I'm second in charge at the store now. I even got to go to a conference in Dallas last October...only about a month after I got the new position. It's still an okay job - I don't know if I want to spend the rest of my working life there, though.

I've been quilting still. I am  - I'd say - halfway through finishing my third one. The second one I made was for my sister's birthday this year. It only took me about two months to finish - a large feat for me!

Other people's lives are so much more exciting than mine. My brother-in-law is getting married in two Saturdays. And my little sister is getting married in just over a month. It's crazy!

Shane has recently been bumped to third shift at his job so he's been sleeping during the day while I'm at work. At least we still have the evenings to have supper and hang out before he leaves for work and I go to bed.

That's about all the updates I can think of.

Probably post again in a year or two...see ya then!

Huh? What?

Okay, to preface the rest of the blog:

Thursday morning - EARLY morning - I woke up from strange dream at 3:30. At the time, up until now, I couldn't remember any part of the dream. Things are started to piece together. I believe a tornado was involved and I had to save my patio furniture. The apartment was the same but all the rooms seems switched around and we had a backdoor.

The contents of this dream really aren't important - just the fact that I had a weird dream.

So last night at work I needed something to read on my supper break. I always keep my mini ESV Bible in my purse so I grabbed that. Lately I've been doing some studies on Revelation so I've been doing plenty of reading in that book. The book of Daniel goes hand-in-hand with Revelation so I decided I'd started reading there. The first few chapters of Daniel are about Daniel's dream-interpretations for the king. (Honestly, at the time I didn't even put my weird dream and the dream-interpreting together. Why should I?)

Well, last night I couldn't sleep in spite of how tired I was! I got out of bed around 12:30 and found myself padding around looking for something do. After checking emails and Facebook and Twitter I sat down with Daniel again. After reading for about an hour (and gaining a headache from all the foot-traffic from our upstairs neighbor) I went to bed and had yet another strange dream. This time it didn't wake me up but I thought I would share it with you.

In my dream I was at work doing my normal routine - cashiering and doing my share of closing duties. The last of the customers were lining up so we could close the store. One of the associates decided we should turn off the store lights to urge the customers out faster - so he did. It ended up stressing all the people out. I had the only register open and it was busier than peak business hours on a Saturday. For some reason I had walked away to get a drink of water. When I grabbed the cup I didn't have water it was like a partially melted red-colored slushie (my guess would be cherry.) It was almost gone so another of the associates took the cup from me and cut it in half so I could get the good stuff at the bottom. I had taken my work apron off by this point because we were almost closed and I was wearing a yellow shirt (of which I actually own.) A disgruntled customer, after having paid for his items, storms out behind me and bumps me. My red drink, although almost gone, spills on the front of my shirt and apparently I don't notice it. The same associate that cut my cup in half points the spill out to me and I panic. Down. Right. Panic. But as the rest of the dream progresses the stain lightens and eventually disappears. Also in the dream a customer asked me to look up some movies on the computer - so I obliged. Words and writing/typing in dreams is always a little messed up but this was just ridiculous! I was practically pounding on the keyboard trying to make the words come out right but my eyes couldn't see what I was typing and I could barely keep up with the customer's help in trying to spell the titles. Panicked again.

I think at the end of the dream I was finally dismissed to go home but it was very late - much later than usual. My eyes had a blurriness in them and I couldn't see the road so I decided to walk home...28 blocks. Even walking I couldn't see very far in front of me. That's where the dream ends or I stopped remembering it. It was weird and left that "uhg" feeling in my chest.

Thought I would share. If you are a Daniel you could interpret this if you want. Otherwise, you might just get a good laugh or an exaggerated roll-of-the-eye out of it. Good Day to you!

(Note: if there's typos, I apologize. I typed fast and I didn't reread before posting.)

Some Monday.

Mondays have almost always been my favorite day of the week - especially after I starting working. Weekends are fun when you're a kid, or if you have one of those fantastic jobs that's Monday-Friday. Mondays, though, are a great day for me. No matter what job I've been working, Monday's are always the slowest, most pleasant, and the customers are nicer than any other time during the week. At least, this has been my experience. Today is a Monday of course. I had to work 1-6 today. It was my first actual on-the-schedule day at this job.

I'm still really enjoying this job and I've been there a little over a week - so I guess that's a pretty good sign, right? I hope so. I like the people I work with - I've known some of them for a few years even.

Today's customers varied in attitude, I guess. For the most part though, they were very friendly. What really made my day was the background music we had looping in the music section. We don't play whole songs - only a little of each song and the whole thing gets repeated all day. One of the "songs" played today was a song by Neko Case. My Dad actually got me started on her music - it always makes me happy to listen to it.

I had to get another associate to take a shift of mine on Thursday. One of the girls I work with was more than happy to take it and I'm very glad. Shane has an appointment at the hospital on Thursday and I have to take him and bring him home and stay home with him afterward. I'm only missing out on a three-hour shift so it's not that big of a loss.

Right now we have a lasagna in the oven and House on the TV - it's going to be a good night.

Getting Bored Again...

So I was doing really well at posting new entries for awhile...but...I think I got tired of not being read so I stopped again. Well, I'm back - for right now, I don't know if I'll really keep up with it.

I finally got a job. It's at an entertainment store - music, movies, books - that sort of thing. I love shopping there and I applied there awhile back. Today was my first day of training. I was supposed to do training on the computer, but instead they had me train on the floor. It was okay - fast-paced; it was Saturday so that figures. I hope I end up really liking it there - it'll help when I really get to know everything that needs to be known.

NHL preseason started about a week ago. The Canucks have played two games so far and have another game tonight - starting in a few minutes. Unfortunately they have lost their first two preseason games - but it doesn't matter at all, since it IS preseason. October 9th is their first regular game - I believe I have the right date.

Shane and I went down to my parents' house this evening for supper. My sister is home for the weekend so I wanted to make sure I saw her. I just found out tonight before supper that my Aunt and Uncle that also live in the same town as my parents just got a new dog! They've had her since Monday, I guess. Okay...here's the whole story:

When I was still a baby - just learning to talk - my Aunt took me to get a puppy. We picked out a small jack-russell terrier. She asked me what I wanted to name her and I said "Dog." She asked if there was something else I wanted to name her and this time I said what sounded like "B B Dog." Let me explain - I had two stuffed dolls when I was that age, one was a dog puppet that sort of looked like a jack-russell terrier that I called Dog and the other a pink and white baby doll that I called Baby. I believe the "B B" was meant to be "Baby." Anyway - the name stuck and for 16ish years the dog's name was B.B. Dog. She was one of those dogs that's really hard to find - really nice, sweet, quiet-ish. Well, she died a few years back. My Uncle's daughter bought them a new jack-russell puppy awhile after. She was named Pepper and she was terrible! She was too active, she barked a lot, and she almost never calmed down! They had to get rid of her - it was just too hard to take care of a dog like that. Well anyway...recently they saw in the paper that in the next town over the cops had found a jack-russell dog and needed a home for it. My Uncle has really been itching for a new dog so they went to go look at her on Monday and ended up bringing her home! She's really sweet. It was like seeing B.B. Dog again - I really almost cried. They named her Lady and that's exactly how she acts - just like a lady. :D

Anyway, I'm glad they have a good dog again. And I'm glad that they only live half hour away so I can go see them and Lady quite a bit.

I guess that's all I have to say right now. If I decide to keep posting I'll probably be keeping you up to date on Canucks games and scores and how my job is going - so if that interests you, keep coming back!

To All: Happy Hockey Season!

A Job Comin' Along...

Well, I got a call today from one of the places that interviewed me for a job. They asked me to come in to get my drug test paperwork. So, that's what I did. I made my appointment and tomorrow I'll go in for the test. I guess that means that if I pass the drug test (which I will) I've got the job. That's really good - 'cause, you know, it's been awhile since I've worked - ha.

Once everything is official you'll know about it, but for now I probably shouldn't say anything more about it.