Art.

Some of you may know that I used to do a lot of art projects in my free time. The three pieces that are now on my Blog are all mine. I just thought I would share a few of my pieces while personalizing my page. They are three of my favorite pieces that I've done. I hope you enjoy them as much as I.

Taking high school art classes and doing my own painting at home I've found that I really love painting with water colors. There's so much you can do with water colors. They're easier to blend and move and it always looks abstract. Maybe one of these days I'll dig my water colors and paint brushes out again and see what I can come up with.

My latest form of "doodle" art (ha) is with Sharpies. I work a lot with lines and geometric shapes. Almost everything I do in Sharpie is accented with dashes or dots or paisley-type shapes. Most of what I do I just consider doodling. I don't expect to make a fortune off of something I drew on the back cardboard of a notebook in silver Sharpie. However, I would love to eventually frame and hang some of my favorites. When it comes to my Sharpie doodles I usually use black or silver so they really go together.

Pencil and ball point pen are both fun to draw with. They're finer so you can get more intricate with whatever you're making.

I was never really a fan of acrylic paints unless I was painting an object - like clay. Maybe if I gave it another shot I'd end up liking it. Who knows, huh?

Well, I'm off to continue A Lion Among Men. I'm trying to finish it so I can let you know how it is.

One Hundred Fifty Books.

Hooray! I made it to Post No. 150!!!! And as I promised here are a few books...

(Well we better just get down to work here - it's going to take me a while.)


1. Spring Came On Forever - Bess Streeter Aldrich
2. The Holy Bible
3. A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess
4. In Cold Blood - Truman Capote
5. The Abyss - Orson Scott Card
6. Behind The Attic Wall - Sylvia Cassedy
7. I Heard That Song Before - Mary Higgins Clark
8. Loves Music, Loves To Dance - Mary Higgins Clark
9. Two Little Girls in Blue - Marry Higgins Clark
10. The Andromeda Strain - Michael Crichton
11. The Muse Asylum - David Czuchlewski
12. House of Leaves - Mark Z. Danielewski
13. The Body Artist - Don DeLillo
14. The Stolen Child - Keith Donohue
15. House of Sand and Fog - Andre Dubus III
16. The Memory Keepers Daughter - Kim Edwards
17. The Last Promise - Richard Paul Evans
18. Alas, Babylon - Pat Frank
19. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
20. Grimm's Fairy Tales - The Brothers Grimm
21. Water For Elephants - Sara Gruen
22. Snow Falling On Cedars - David Guterson
23. Five Quarters of the Orange - Joanne Harris
24. Gentlemen & Players - Joanne Harris
25. The House of the Seven Gables - Nathaniel Hawthorne
26. The King's Evil - Will Heinrich
27. Lost Horizon - James Hilton
28. At Risk - Alice Hoffman
29. Blue Diary - Alice Hoffman
30. Fortune's Daughter - Alice Hoffman
31. Here on Earth - Alice Hoffman
32. The Ice Queen - Alice Hoffman
33. Incantation - Alice Hoffman
34. Practical Magic - Alice Hoffman
35. The River King - Alice Hoffman
36. Skylight Confessions - Alice Hoffman
37. The Third Angel - Alice Hoffman
38. Turtle Moon - Alice Hoffman
39. Titanic - Diane Hoh
40. Remember the Titanic - Diane Hoh
41. Redwall - Brian Jacques
42. The Love Dare - Stephen & Alex Kendrick
43. Devil May Cry - Sherrilyn Kenyon
44. Bag of Bones - Stephen King
45. Cell - Stephen King
46. Everything's Eventual - Stephen King
47. The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon - Stephen King
48. The Two Dead Girls - Stephen King
49. The Mouse on the Mile - Stephen King
50. Hearts in Atlantis - Stephen King
51. Just After Sunset - Stephen King
52. It - Stephen King
53. Under The Dome - Stephen King
54. Winning Words - Allen Klein
55. The Book of Bright Ideas - Sandra Kring
56. Left Behind - Tim LaHaye, Jerry B. Jenkins
57. Tribulation Force - Tim LaHaye, Jerry B. Jenkins
58. Nicolae - Tim LaHaye, Jerry B. Jenkins
59. Soul Harvest - Tim LaHaye, Jerry B. Jenkins
60. Apollyon - Tim LaHaye, Jerry B. Jenkins
61. Assassins - Tim LaHaye, Jerry B. Jenkins
62. The Indwelling - Tim LaHaye, Jerry B. Jenkins
63. The Mark - Tim LaHaye, Jerry B. Jenkins
64. Desecration - Tim LaHaye, Jerry B. Jenkins
65. The Remnant - Tim LaHaye, Jerry B. Jenkins
66. Armageddon - Tim LaHaye, Jerry B. Jenkins
67. She's Come Undone - Wally Lamb
68. The Haunted Mesa - Louis L'amour
69. Last of the Breed - Louis L'amour
70. Here in the World - Victoria Lancelotta
71. Crow Lake - Mary Lawson
72. Indian Captive - Lois Lenski
73. The Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis
74. Darkly Dreaming Dexter - Jeff Lindsay
75. Dearly Devoted Dexter - Jeff Lindsay
76. Dexter in the Dark - Jeff Lindsay
77. Dexter By Design - Jeff Lindsay
78. The Giver - Lois Lowry
79. Little Farm in the Ozarks - Roger Lea MacBride
80. Son of a Witch - Gregory Maguire
81. A Lion Among Men - Gregory Maguire
82. Hilda and Pearl - Alice Hattison
83. Everything in This Country Must - Colum McCann
84. Blood Promise - Richelle Mead
85. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
86. The Hose - Stephenie Meyer
87. Twilight - Stephenie Meyer
88. New Moon - Stephenie Meyer
89. Eclipse - Stephenie Meyer
90. Breaking Dawn - Stephenie Meyer
91. Paradise Lost - John Milton
92. Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery
93. Anne of Avonlea - L. M. Montgomery
94. Anne of The Island - L. M. Montgomery
95. Anne of Windy Poplars - L. M. Montgomery
96. Anne's House of Dreams - L. M. Montgomery
97. Anne of Ingleside - L. M. Montgomery
98. Rainbow Valley - L. M. Montgomery
99. 1984 - George Orwell
100. Animal Farm - George Orwell
101. The Poe Reader - Edgar Allan Poe
102. Complete Tales & Poems - Edgar Allan Poe
103. Contemporary American Poetry - Ed. A. Poulin, Jr. & Michael Waters
104. The Best American Poetry - Ed. Rita Dove & David Lehman
105. Four Centuries of Great Love Poems - compiled. Debra Starr
106. Carillon: 2006 - UNK student contributors
107. Carillon: 2007 - UNK student contributors
108. Vampires - Ed. Alan Ryan
109. Franny and Zooey - J. D. Salinger
110. Nine Stories - J. D. Salinger
111. And Eye For An Eye: The Doll - John Saul
112. Twist of Fate: The Locket - John Saul
113. Ashes To Ashes: The Dragon's Flame - John Saul
114. In The Shadow of Evil: The Handkerchief - John Saul
115. Day of Reckoning: The Stereoscope - John Saul
116. Asylum - John Saul
117. The Reader - Bernhard Schlink
118. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
119. An Equal Music - Vikram Seth
120. Black Beauty - Anna Sewell
121. Othello - William Shakespeare
122. Three Romantic Tragdies - William Shakespeare
123. The Sonnets and Other Love Poems - William Shakespeare
124. Frankenstein - Mary Shelley
125. The Theban Plays - Sophocles
126. The Notebook - Nicholas Sparks
127. The Pearl - John Steinbeck
128. Dracula - Bram Stoker
129. 2012 - Whitley Strieber
130. Warday - Whitley Strieber & James Kunetka
131. Amy and Isabelle - Elizabeth Strout
132. The Hobbit - J.R.R. Tolkien
133. The Fellowship of the Ring - J.R.R. Tolkien
134. The Two Towers - J.R.R. Tolkien
135. The Return of the King - J.R.R. Tolkien
136. Slow Waltz in Cedar Bend - Robert James Waller
137. The Island of Dr. Moreau
138. Until They Bring The Streetcars Back - Stanley Gordon West
139. The Picture of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde
140. The Shack - Paul Young
141. Level 26 - Anthony E. Zuiker
142. The Metamorphosis - Franz Kafka
143. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer - Mark Twain
144. Adventures of Huckleberry Finn - Mark Twain
145. One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish - Dr. Seuss
146. Go, Dog, Go - Dr. Seuss
147. Put Me In The Zoo - Dr. Seuss
148. I Wish That I Had Duck Feet - Dr. Seuss
149. If I Ran The Zoo - Dr. Seuss

And now...(drumroll)...my 150th and most favorite book ever...

150. Frog and Toad Together - Arnold Lobel

Oh, that took awhile! I thank you if you took the time to read this post. Are there any books in my list that you've read, want to read, or want to discuss? I love discussing books with people that have also read that book.

Note: I have not yet read every book on this list. I have this problem. See, everytime I go to a used bookstore I buy more than one book at a time. Those books end up on my bookshelf while I'm reading all the other books I haven't read yet. I know I really should not buy anymore books until I get all of these read and then maybe only buy one book at a time. Oh, I just love books so much!

I'm going to leave you with a quote, now, that describes all too well my feeling toward books.

"My books are friends that will never fail me." -Unknown.

Good day and good reading.

I Have Decided.

After a long 20 minutes of distracted thinking I have finally come to a decision regarding my plans for my 150th post!

I am going to list 150 of the books in my possession and their authors right here on Sunglasses On A Desk. Some said it could never be done, many said it could obviously be done, I say, "Let's do it anyway."

So, tune in next time when I shall reveal 150 of my books to - most likely - no one. (I'm really not positive if anyone reads this anymore...) It's sure to dazzle and excite! Come one, come all! (Apparently I'm a circus now.) Be awed. Be amazed. Be a maze. Be...unable to contain yourselves as you read from 1 to 150!

And here we go...

...to bed for now.

Buffy and Books.

Hello there all my Readers. If you are still reading.

(This is now my 148th post and I still have not decided what I'm going to do for my 150th! Any suggestions?)

This weekend was really fun. Shane and I drove up to Sutherland Friday evening to spend the weekend with his family. His Dad had to work most of the weekend so we didn't see much of him, unfortunately. We did a ridiculous amount of visiting - which is great! - and watched a couple of movies. On Saturday Shane's Mom made her wonderful cabbage pockets for lunch and Shane made some kind of bread/cinnamon/brown sugar dessert. We played Scrabble that afternoon - I didn't win, like usual. Ha. I watched Shane and his youngest brother play some video games. They were mostly zombie games so they were pretty interesting to watch. In the evening we were all in the mood for a scary movie but we couldn't really think of any. We ended up watching the new Friday the 13th. Too much sex and nudity and not enough actual scaring going on. Later on that night we watched Child's Play 2. Now, that's a good movie. Hm, yesterday we also did some karaoke-ing (verb? ha) and, you know, that's always fun.

Now we're back in Kearney. We continued our Buffy-thon after we made a supper of nachos and onion rings (Shane and I get the strangest cravings.) We're on Season 2 of Buffy now. A couple years ago we watched all 7 seasons together. I had seen most of the episodes a couple years before that. I guess you can say I like the show, huh?

Shane's in bed now - he's got to go to work tomorrow. I just put down A Lion Among Men for a few minutes to type this. The story is a little on the slow side right now. I really hope it picks up so it can, at least, match the other two books.

Oh, books. I love having books on my bookshelf. We have a large 5-shelf bookshelf and we're in desperate need of another one. All five shelves are full and we've started to lay our new books on top of the standing ones. Oh, and Shane and I have three books off the shelf - so...I'd say it's time for a new one.

At one time I was thinking about looking into getting an Amazon Kindle. Both Shane and my Mom were considering one for a present for me, too. They know me too well, though. They know I like to hear the pages being turned, smell the new - or old - smell of the books, and even alphabetize and rearrange them everytime I get a new book. Sure, a Kindle or another product like it would be great. For someone else. For me, I'm going to stick with books. However, I will say this - if I would ever have to travel somewhere and have to lug a bunch of heavy books with me I might deeply consider getting a Kindle. But when it comes to my own personal reading I'll take the paper version.

I am going to leave you with a quote from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

"To read makes our speaking English good." - Xander (referring to why he is in the library)

Goodnight All - and happy reading.

Post No. 147.

I just realized that I'm almost to my 150th Post! I want to do something special - something involving 150 somethings. I'll think of...erm...something.

This afternoon Shane and I are heading up to Sutherland to spend the weekend with his family. I don't think we have anything special planned. It's always fun just to hang out and play it by ear.

Today was really nothing outside of the box. I woke up, picked up the apartment, did an unusually large amount of dishes, ate lunch, and packed for the weekend.

Three short paragraphs,
This blog is getting boring.
*Exciting Haiku!*

I read all of my posts on this blog last night and realized I completely got away from Poetry! I don't read or write poetry anymore, but you can never go wrong with a haiku!

I guess I better go and get ready to leave for the weekend.

Another Year...

What is with me only posting once a year? I need to get better at this.

Okay - quick summary:

In April of this year Shane and I moved back to Kearney after living in North Platte for just over two years. It's a relief to be back here. In May my baby sister graduated from high school. In a little less than a month she'll be moving into her dorm at CCC. Shane and I finally got to go on a "honeymoon" last weekend. We didn't go very far but it was a great vacation.

We drove up to Omaha/Council Bluffs for the weekend. On Friday we spent almost the full day at the Henry Dorley Zoo and then had dinner at Harrah's casino before passing out in the hotel that night. On Saturday we got to the IMAX in Council Bluffs at around 8am to wait to get into Inception. It was worth paying a little extra to see it on the IMAX screen. After the movie we drove into Omaha to hang out down at Old Market. We had lunch at Spaghetti Works (great place) and went into a couple of shops. It was so hot and we weren't really finding anything to do so we spent about an hour walking around a park that had weird artwork and fountains (it probably has a name, I just don't know it.) We were lucky to find that the Bodies exhibition was still in town and just around the corner from the park! It was very cool - freaky, but interesting. I'm glad we got to go. We spent the evening watching a movie in our hotel room. We left for home on Sunday morning. On the way we ate breakfast at a CrackerBarrel - delicious!

In two weekends I will be going up to Omaha again with my parents and sister. We're going to the zoo, as well. My sister wants to do some shopping - I'll probably just want to sit down. Ha.

I have unfortunately been jobless since we moved back down here to Kearney. I've been applying and applying and interviewing and applying to more places, but I just can't seem to bag a job. I'm hoping something comes through for me eventually. Anyone want to pay me to write this blog? Yeah, didn't think so. Worth a shot.

Currently, it's thundering and lightning outside. It sounds amazing. There's nothing better than a little stormy weather at midnight, am I right? I know I am.

I had kind of a...different...day today. A little out of the ordinary for me, at least. Usually, my day consists of making the bed, doing necessary laundry and picking up, washing dishes, and Facebooking. (It's a verb whether you like it or not.) Today, however, I had a strange urge to go rifling through a few Rubbermaid totes full of things - junk? - I haven't gone through in a while. I came across a folder I've been cramming songs and poems into since high school. On discovering a couple half-way decent songs I'd written and attempted to accompany on guitar I dug out ol' Antonio (the Ibanez) and re-blistered my fingertips trying to remember how to play that damned instrument. Needless to say, I'm not good - I never was - and I'm not fooling myself. I really just should stick to singing.

On another musical note (see what I did there?), close to a month ago my Mom bought me my very own flute! I was beside myself with excitement when she texted me and told me she found one. I'd been looking for one for years. In fifth grade when we started band in school she handed down her high school flute to me - the old Bundy. It still is the best flute I've ever played. When my sister started band and I was still using the Bundy, Mom found a second flute at a garage sale for her. When I graduated and didn't need the flute anymore the Bundy went to my sister. Since then I'd wanted to get my own, and now I have one. It's great. I've been playing a little here and there, trying to get to the level I was in high school.

Wasn't this supposed to be a quick summary?

I wish I had more interesting things to blog about. Books, tv shows, movies, music? That's easy: Read the Wicked series; Watch Lie To Me and The Good Guys; Enjoy Inception and Toy Story 3; and Listen to Muse. Done.

Elaborate? Why sure!

I'm currently reading A Lion Among Men: Volume Three in the Wicked Years by Gregory Maguire. My sister got me started on the series. It starts with Wicked; the story of the Wicked Witch of the West (you know the one; from Wizard of Oz!) The second book, Son of a Witch, tells the story of Liir, the Witch's son. The third and final book of the series, A Lion Among Men, explains why the Cowardly Lion was so cowardly in the first place. I am only a third into the book, but already so much has happened and you really see the Lion in a completely different light.

Both shows, Lie To Me and The Good Guys, show on Fox. Lie To Me is in its second season and airs Mondays at 7pm/c. Leading the cast is Tim Roth (Reservoir Dogs, The Incredible Hulk) as Dr. Cal Lightman. The show is based on the science of reading a person's facial movements and body language to discover whether they are telling the truth or lying. Dr. Lightman is basically a living lie-detector. The episodes are funny and thrilling and superbly enhanced by actual science. The Good Guys follows Lie To Me on Mondays at 8pm/c. It's hilarious comedy and fast action all rolled into an hour per week. Starring Bradley Whitford (The West Wing) and Colin Hanks (The House Bunny, Orange County) this show really has everything. Whitford and Hanks play Dallas cops Dan Stark and Jack Bailey. Jack is the by-the-book type of cop who gets partnered with the by-the-gut type of cop, Dan. Comedy, action, drama, and even a little suspenseful developing relationship between Jack and his ex-girlfriend A.D.A. Liz Traynor (Jenny Wade.) Mondays are the best for watching Fox.

I am not going to elaborate too much on the movies to watch. I feel like it'll give too much away. Inception was amazing. I loved the entire cast with the exception of Leo DiCaprio - he's just not on my list of top male actors. However, he is a great actor and his character is believable. Joseph Gordon Levitt, Cillian Murphy, Michael Caine, and Ellen Page -- what a cast! If I was to rate this movie - 1 to 5. It would easily be a 4.9. I can't honestly give any movie a perfect rating but this is as close as they come. Toy Story 3 was absolutely amazing. I didn't have the chance to see it in 3D, but as I've said before: 3D sometimes gets you distracted from the story - at least that happens to me. There was so much going on that it really took a lot of concentration to catch everything the movie had to offer. I went to the movie with my Aunt and my sister, Taylor. Out of the three of us I was the only one to actually cry; but if you know me you're probably not surprised. It was an emotional movie, especially to a big kid like myself. After watching Toy Story 3 I felt it was necessary to hug all the stuffed animals I still have - just so they knew I still cared about them. (Now it's up to you to decide whether I actually did that or not.)

On to Music. Muse. Great band, people; c'mon - listen to Muse! If you're familiar with the Twilight Saga soundtracks you'll know that each soundtrack has a Muse song on it. Those songs are good, but if you really want to feel the music, go out and buy one of their CDs. You won't regret it. Currently I'm absolutely hooked on their latest album The Resistance. You might have even heard their song Uprising on a popular music station while in your car. Apart from not being able to eject that CD from my stereo, I have been leaping occasionally over to their album Origin of Symmetry to listen to my newest favorite-song-ever. You may know the song Feeling Good - it was originally written for a musical in the 60s and since has been covered by many artists. By far, Muse's rendition of Feeling Good is the best. I turn it on in my car while I'm out driving, turn the volume up so loud I almost can't stand it and let Matt Bellamy serenade me until I get to where I'm going. Sound crazy? Good. It is. But try it, you'll get what I'm saying. On an interesting note - Muse singer/composer Matt Bellamy is now currently dating actress Kate Hudson. I think it's neat. When you finish reading this you should Wiki Matt Bellamy and read about him - he's done so much and he's just brilliant.

So...I got that covered. Maybe I should try and get some sleep now. My husband has been in bed since 9:30. I was there for awhile but once I realized trying to fall asleep with a storm brewing outside wasn't going to work I got up, read a couple chapters in A Lion Among Men and figured I'd ramble on to you fine people...that is, if you're still reading.

I'll call it a night now. If you think about it remind me to post again soon. Have a great night!

6 Months Into 2009.

Wow, so it's been literally almost a whole year since I last posted a blog. I reread my last post and decided that I still agree that 2008 as of then 2008 was turning out to be a great year.

This year has had it's ups and downs.

Last year in July I started working at Wal-Mart and I'm still there. It's not a great job at all; and I don't recommend working there if you can help it. I'm trying to get out of there as soon as I can. At the very least I'm trying to find my "happiest place" so that I can escape work while there.

In two days Shane and I will be celebrating our first anniversary! I can't believe it!

Last week on May 30th my Grandpa Poague passed away. It was so hard, and it still is. It actually seems to be getting harder as the days pass. Shane and I spent the whole week after the 30th in my hometown with my family. My Grandma was the strongest of all of us - I don't know how she does it sometimes. Grandpa was laid to rest in Holdrege, NE. He was 82 years old. I miss him very much. We all do.

In February my Dad's Grandmother passed away as well. I was not able to attend her funeral as it was in Illinois. I'm sad to say that I didn't know her as well as I would have liked. However, by the end she didn't remember very many people; her mind was very tired.

Dan and Sarena's little girl Brooke will turn one year old toward the end of this month. I really cannot believe that! She grew up way too fast because I wasn't able to see her very much during her first year.

In my last post I said that I had watched my little sister turn 16 and start driving. Well, this year she turned 17 (ah!) and a few weekends ago she drove me around on our shopping trip. Mom and Dad bought her a car this year too; a beautiful Impala - purple. She even let me drive it around town a little, ha.

In August of 2008 I got my newest tattoo. It's on my right shoulder - it says "You are my Sunshine." My Mom always used to sing that song to me when I was younger and I knew that it would be a great way to show my love for her - it's permanent, you know. I will also be getting tattoos for my Dad and my sister. My next tattoo, though, will be a cowboy hat with my Grandpa's initials inside it. (He always wore his cowboy hat, wouldn't leave home without it. He was laid to rest with it, too.)

Well, I think that might be all the updates I can think of for now. I will try to post more often - especially if something big happens. I know you're all impatient, ha.

Buh bye for now.

Six Months into 2008.

It's June and so much has happened this year already. I moved to North Platte, I turned 21, I watched my baby sister turn 16 and start driving. Shane's brother graduated from high school. My friend, Sarena, is days away from delivering a little girl, Brooke Allyn. We've had some close calls in our family, but everyone seems to be doing well now. The weather has been crazier than I ever remember: no snow, too much snow, rain, tornado after tornado - wonder how the rest of the summer is going to be.

This month the best thing so far in my life happened. On June 10th Shane and I got married. It was a small ceremony at the Kearney county courthouse in Minden. Just family was there. It went smoothly and it was very nice. My Dad organized a small reception across the street at the Minden Coffee House. There was cake and delicious punch. He got flowers and everything! My Aunt brought a doily that was crocheted by my Great Grandma Poague (I never got to meet her.) She had it her wedding and both Aunt Becky and Aunt Phylliss had it at their weddings. It meant a lot to have that there. After the reception Shane's family and mine went to Kearney and had dinner at Whiskey Creek. Then Shane and I headed home.

When 2008 first started I knew it was going to be a big year for my family. But I didn't realize that so many things were going to happen outside of my family as well! This year is turning out to be one of my favorites.

In October we're still having a reception so I hope everyone can make it then!

Shane and I are going to see The Incredible Hulk tonight; his brother Ben might come with. Tomorrow night I think we're going to go see The Happening.

I started refinishing a dresser that used to be Shane's. It was painted white a long time ago and the paint looked terrible! So I stripped the paint and Shane sanded it. Yesterday I stained the frame and it looks great. Now I just need to do the drawers. I bought new drawer-pulls for it too, I hope it looks like I imagined when it's done!

I Have No Good Title.

Hello all. (Or few.)

I'm still being very lazy when it comes to posting The Blogs (that would make a cool band name... And now! Put your hands together for...THE BLOGS!)

I really haven't been that busy, just lazy. I've recently gone through a huge nesting period. I rearranged the whole house, which didn't take long considering the size of our house. :) The babies, Rowdy and Betty, are now in the computer/storage room in the basement. We now have a table on which we eat our foods (I even bought placemats!) I bought a new bookshelf for the living/dining room. Our old bookshelf now holds our movies and the new bookshelf is rightfully a bookshelf. I'm thinking about taking pictures of the house - the inside - and posting them on here so you can see where I live. It's small so don't laugh. :)

This weekend was very fun. Shane's brother, Ben, (the middle brother in that family) came and spent the weekend with us. He needed help making a short film for his Spanish II class so of course Shane and I helped. We made a silent film about cheating at a game of poker. It stars Ben and Shane. I directed and filmed. And I also found the music to play during the film. It turned out to be great and we're all very proud of it! I put it on YouTube and my MySpace profile. I'll put the link for it at the end of this blog. I hope you'll enjoy it!

I had an interview at ShopKo on Friday for the apparel department. I think the interview went very well, but she (the manager) still had other interviews to give this week, so I should know soon enough if I got the job or not. I really hope I get the job, it'd be nice to work in apparel again, since I know what I'm doing after working forever at WalMart. Ha.

It's almost May. This year has started fast and it's almost half over.

We still don't know exactly what we're doing about the wedding.

Shane's birthday is coming up - May 1st. I'm really excited to give him his present! I think I'm more excited about it now than he will be when he opens it, but we'll see. He'll be pretty darned surprised, for sure.

Anyway, here is the link to YouTube for the film. (Although it is a silent film, it is still best watched with the volume on...for the music.) Let me know what you think about it!

Pelicula Silencioso

In Reply to Shannon's Comment.

We're tired of renting. We figured if we're going to be paying over three hundred dollars a month to live somewhere we might as well be paying off a house. Right?

We're going to be in this area for a long time anyway because of Shane's job and Sutherland is a really nice little town.

A New House?

There's this house for sale in Sutherland. I like it, Shane likes it, and we want it.

That's really all I have to say about it. We went to go see it today and it's really cute inside. It has a huge fenced-in back yard and already has a garden in it...yay! The front yard is surrounded by a chain-link fence which would be taken out and replaced with a better fence if we got the house. There's no basement so that kind of sucks, but one of the three bedrooms will work for storage, if needed.

The kitchen is very nice. So much bigger than ours now.

The best part about it is that there's a water softener!! Yes! :D

Well, It's About Time, Kaylee!

That's what you're all thinking, right?

Things are...things? I'm living in North Platte with Shane. Trying to plan a wedding but there are a few "things" we must hurdle first. I might bring that up later.

I need to get a job. I applied at Shopko the other day. Haven't heard from them yet. There's a cute used book store a few blocks away that I would like to spend time in, working...but I doubt they're looking for help. I'll have to ask next time I'm in. There really aren't many places other than fast food places to work here in North Platte. Ha, I guess I'll have to get a job with the railroad...riiiight.

Shane and I got a new baby this last week. A white four-month old ferret. He was the runt of the group but man, is he playful? We named him Rowdy - because that's exactly what he is.

So far, 2008 has been a happy year. We'll see how it goes from there...

Better go to bed or something.

Goodnight!

Three Hundred Eighty-Three Dollars Later...

I got my car back last night. It's good to have her back, but I'm just worried something else is going to go wrong.

This is Dead Week. And that's exactly how I feel. I have all my papers done and ready to turn in next week. As a result I've been completely lazy. Television, computer, naps...that's all I've done this week! Of course, I'm still going to my classes, but we don't do anything.

Tomorrow night the Advanced Poetry class I'm in is meeting at a bar here in Kearney to read some of our original poetry. I haven't decided what I'm going to read yet, but I'm just excited that tomorrow is our last day of poetry! Yay! Now I'll never be expected to write another poem!

I hope school and life is going well for everybody and good luck with Finals!

A Mind of Their Own.

Cars. What do they think? That I'm made of money and can fix every problem they throw at me? No, I can't! So stop breaking!!

Let It Snow!

I woke up this morning to find a beautiful snow falling to the ground. It was one of those snows that you want to capture on film, but it's almost impossible. There was about an inch on the ground and it's still falling. I'm glad it's not a dangerous or icy snow.

Christmas is coming and I'm getting more and more excited. I'm giving Sarena her Christmas present today when I go pick her up for her appointment. I hope she likes it.

To all: A happy snow day!

Christmas Music!

I love it!

I'm having a weird day. It was going alright but then we had to watch Boys Don't Cry for my film class and well...we'll just say that that movie doesn't really make anyone happy.

The semester is winding down at a pretty steady pace. Only eight more days of classes. Fifteen days total until I should be done with finals. I'm pretty excited!

And then...it's Christmas!!

A Word.

Work was slow tonight but it's the kind of work day I needed. Just a slow day to talk to the other cashiers and just walk around and stuff. It was nice.

Looking forward to going to Wilcox tomorrow. And I'm looking forward to watching Heroes!

I've really been missing Shane lately. The weather is getting colder and all I want to do is come home from work and curl up with Shane and watch a movie and then go to sleep. That is all I want and I have to wait a few more weeks!

To all: a good night and a wonderful Monday!

What's That? Hot Pockets?

Jim Gaffigan is funny.

I decided that Shane should be an actor or a comedian. Well, actually...when I first met him I thought he should be one of the two 'cause he was very entertaining in class. But maybe that was just me because I thought he was cute.

Anyway, last night he and I were on the phone and he was doing some Jim Gaffigan jokes and some Demetri Martin jokes, then he did some of his own and made up some weird story to tell me. It was supposed to rhyme...and yeah...it was pretty hilarious. I really emotionally connected to the joke...

Apparently it snowed last night. The only reason I think this is because there is snow on the ground and covering the vehicles in the parking lot. Otherwise I would not have known it had snowed. Strange.

I have to go "dig" my car out later today - sometime after lunch. I have to go to work this afternoon and well, I don't feel like walking there; although, it would probably be easier.

Speaking of lunch...I have no idea what I'm going to eat. I don't want to go to Chartwells again, that stinks. Looks like I'm microwaving soup! My favorite!

Funny Stuff.

Well, it happened again.

I must be the problem.

The End.

Sure A Disappointment.

So we were supposed to get a pretty bad freezing rain storm last night and it was supposed to continue on all day today. We barely have any ice outside! I don't get it! I mean, sure, if you're driving like a crazy person anyway there's a chance you might hit thicker ice and crash. But there's not enough to hurt yourself on if you're driving safely...like you should be anyway.

It's not like I really wanted a huge storm or anything, but...uhg, last night was sooo busy at work because people thought we were going to get an ice storm like we did in Dec/January this year so they were stocking up for the storm. So far as I can tell, they made my night busy for no reason.

I mean sure it could get worse this afternoon or evening...but the radar shows most of the storm is past us and we might not get hit again! I don't know...

Well I have dedicated myself to doing my papers today and I can't lie...so I'm off to do homework on a Saturday morning at 9:10...that's depressing.

To all: A wonderful Saturday! Hopefully the weatherman didn't lie to you!

Nasty Weather & Hockey!

I was planning on going to Wilcox tomorrow to take some stuff there and to just hang out. But we're supposed to get freezing rain all day tomorrow so it looks like I'll be stuck in Kearney. That's okay - I'm going to force myself to start and finish at least two of my final papers! I know I can do it!

My Canucks played last night - against the Blue Jackets. I checked the score this morning. They won - two to zero. That was exciting. Then I checked the NHL standings. The Canucks are ranked 2nd in the western conference! And 5th in the League! We're doing great this year and I'm hoping we actually have a chance at the Cup this year!

To All: A wonderful Hockey season!

Two Weeks Notice.

It's a movie and the title of this blog. Teehee...

Yesterday at work I put in my two weeks notice and I almost cried. I don't want to quit working there. I love working there! I promised Joyce I would come back and visit though.

Soon after I finish this blog I have to start working on my final film paper. I'm doing it on Christian Bale - it'll be easy to stick to the project hehe. Yeah, he's a pretty good looking guy. I'm going to be watching The Machinist this morning. I'm going to be writing about his performance in that movie compared to his performances in The Prestige, Rescue Dawn, Batman, American Psycho, and possibly Reign of Fire.

I should probably get to that. Have a great Thursday!

Oh Boy.

I don't know how I feel today...yet. I have so much stuff on my mind, which right now is a good thing. I'm trying to get everything figured out for this end of this semester. All my final papers and exams and packing moving. I know what I'm doing for my final paper for film class and I'm very excited about it but it's going to take a lot of time and work and I'm a little nervous that I'm not going to make myself do it.

I work tonight and Friday night. And I'm going to Wilcox on Saturday to take stuff there because I don't need it here anymore.

Next Thursday I'm taking Sarena to one of her baby-appointments. Dan has to work that morning so she asked if I could go with her to hold her hand. I was thrilled to be asked and gratefully accepted. I'm glad I get to be there for her.

It seems like after Thanksgiving break everything rushes at you until you fall over. There's only three weeks from tomorrow until the last day of finals week. I can't believe it's going so fast! I don't know if I'll be able to keep up!

I hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday and a great rest of the week!

Baby Blankets.

The blanket I'm crocheting for Dan and Sarena's baby is coming along very nicely. It's soft and cute and everything you look for in a baby blanket.

They think the due date is July 1st. So we still have awhile, but it'll come fast.

I had a weird dream last night. Something about dorm rooms, chumming with professors, and a ghost or something. I have no idea.

Tomorrow I'm putting in my notice for my last day at work. I'm going to be sad to say I have to quit. But I'm going to be more sad on my actual last day. I really do like working there, it's such a great environment and the people are nice. I'll definitely be coming down just to visit work every now and again.

After this week of classes there is only one more "real" week of classes, then Dead week, the finals week starts on the 17th. I can't believe it's almost here! November has gone so fast.

Back.

I'm going back to Kearney today. Back to the good ol' dorm room. Yeah, something like that.

Shane came down last night. It was good to see him again. After this weekend I won't be seeing him untik the weekend before Christmas when we have our little Christmas together. When I get there we're going to go buy decorations for the little tree and then open presents. I think we're going to have a nice sipper together too. I'm looking forward to it.

I had such a good week and weekend being home with my family over Thanksgiving break. This really is close to the last time I will be staying here in Wilcox. I'll be moving in a little over a month. It's a little weird to think about. But a good the-show-must-go-on feeling. If you can understand that. Ha.

To all: a good week and happy Christmas-present shopping!

So Proud.

I'm a little late getting this posted. It is an article from the Kearney Hub by Carol Meyers. I am very proud to say that my mom is the greatest.

Please read My Mom: The Star.

Yup, that's my mama!

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! How was the turkey?

Tomorrow Is Thanksgiving!

I'm watching That 70s Show. Just hanging out until Shane calls me when he gets off of work.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I'm very excited! I get to help with the food. That's pretty fun!

I started the baby blanket for Dan and Sarena's baby today. It's going to be so cute when it's finished! Of course, I have until this summer to get it done. Best to start early, though, right?

Well, I'm going to sit and watching some television.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

'Twas The Monday Before...

...and it was hectic!

I should not be sitting here posting a blog this morning. I should be packing and getting everything ready to make a mad dash to my car after work and hightail it down to Wilcox. But here I sit, lazy as usual.

Because we don't have our film class tomorrow (my only class on Tuesdays) I decided that I'm going to go home tonight. Also, tonight is Taylor's play that I've mentioned before. I agreed to work this afternoon until 6pm and I have to be in the high school in Wilcox by 7pm. I know I can make it there, but I don't like being rushed. Who really does?

I am so thankful this week is Thanksgiving! I'm ready to see everybody at the same time and be able to actually have time to sit down and talk to them!

Shane made me cookies this weekend. Peanut butter. Mmm...they're my breakfast today with my coffee! Nothing better than a couple cookies with your morning coffee. That is, if you like cookies and coffee. If you don't...well, you're just odd, aren't you? I'm kidding! Don't hate me. :)

I better go though, I really need to pack. I'll try to keep up with my blog over Thanksgiving break, but I'm not promising anything! Besides, you should be with your families and friends and not sitting and staring at a computer screen!

To all: A splendid Thanksgiving! Yum Turkey!

Well,That Was Fast.

Yesterday I started crocheting a scarf for a friend for Christmas. Apparently, I have very speedy hands because I finished it yesterday. And it's really pretty and I didn't mess up at all!

I've been very tired lately. And last night the hall was noisy again, worst night ever. I couldn't fall asleep until 2 again but the noise continued. Terrible.

I'm going to Wilcox after work and Shane is coming down here when he gets off of work as well. He's leaving Monday morning. That's pretty cool. :) Okay, so it's a lot awesome!

I better get ready for work or whatever. Have a great Saturday!

Sleepy Weekends.

Well, folks, it's finally Friday. I'm sleepy. Again I had trouble sleeping last night. The hall was really loud until midnight - ridiculous.

I have to wake up early tomorrow to go to work. And after work I'm talking my fish to Wilcox for Thanksgiving. Shane is coming down this weekend! I'm awfully excited about that. :)

I hope I get Sunday off this weekend. Then I can spend all day with Shane!

Better get going. I have more coffee to drink before class.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Bowling Butts.

Mandy and I went bowling last night. We only took a few pictures because my camera was being a pain...this is what we got:


Adorable right?

By the way, I granny rolled four full games. Hehe...that's how I roll. Oh yeah.

Have a wonderful Thursday! (Oh my gosh! It's Thursday already!?)

Another Long Night.

I couldn't fall asleep until after two a.m. last night. It was terrible! I only let myself sleep in for half an hour - that didn't really do much for me. It's a long day today, as well. I have to work. But you would have already known that having read my previous blog.

Going bowling tonight. Looking forward to it. But we're not leaving until after my bedtime. I'm going to be so tired tomorrow! I'll need mucho amounts of coffee. :)

Speaking of coffee. I got an early Christmas present yesterday. Shane sent me fresh ground coffee from The Espresso Shop in North Platte. It's Irish Creme flavored and it's delicious!

Have a wonderful Wednesday!

Thanksgiving Is Coming.

Next Thursday is Thanksgiving and I'm getting very excited! However, this week is going as slow as it possibly can just to make me angry.

I'm watching House. It's a good show. This is the first episode I've been able to watch this season. I'm a little behind - I don't know most of the characters anymore!

Soooo, I need to write a couple new poems. I need ideas. If anyone has any ideas for me to write a poem or two about please let me know 'cause I'm pretty desperate. Really, I am.

I guess I don't have much more to say tonight. Maybe tomorrow will be more interesting. I have to work 3-9, it should go pretty fast. Wednesdays usually are okay. Friday will go fast and so will Saturday. I wonder if I'll get Sunday off. I'm going back to Wilcox on Monday. And I get to bake my famous pumpkin cake with home-made cream cheese frosting. Sound good? Want some? Then you'll have to give me a good idea for a poem. There's a price for everything.

I hope everyone has a good night! Sleep better than I did last night!

Back Again.

We all went to Harrison this weekend. It was a lot of fun! I got to play with horses! I should have been a farm-girl.

We got back around 8ish last night. I was pooped, but it was worth it with all the fun we had this weekend.

Next week is Thanksgiving. And I'm thankful for that. I need to get away from Kearney. And I'm looking forward to spending mucho time with my family. If I don't have to work this Sunday I think I'm going to go home on Saturday after I get off of work. 'Cause then I'll be able to be home all day Sunday, most of Monday (I'll have to come back up to Kearney for class), I'll get to see Taylor's play Monday night, I'll only have to drive back up to Kearney Wednesday and Friday to work, and then again on Sunday to come back to school and I'll probably have to work then anyway.

I think this will work out.

Last night I had a good but strange dream. I can't get it out of my head. I'll probably be thinking about it all day.

I wish you all a great Monday, a fast week, and a wonderful Thanksgiving (early.)

Small-Town Terrorists: A Prose Poem

Small-Town Terrorists

It was summer in the town I was once from. Laughing friends on their stomachs enjoyed a black television screen with their legs bent, waving in the air to the rhythm of what they hoped their babies would one day be named. I never got around to plugging in that TV. A sun ray still hanging in the sky on some invisible fishing line creates half-hearted shadows on the floor and makes the warm west wind set the maple branches to making love with the oak on the walls surrounding the one room in the house I never felt safe to be. A rumble. From three blocks away it sounds like it’s three inches close enough to kill the ticks on the stray dog that limps down the street. Hamsters in hand; black in right, brown in left; stepping quickly to the half-open front door to close it against the sound of Death scrapping a broken bottle on a tin roof – ready to jump. Our house on the part tar, part gravel road in the West part of town was the only two-bath box spared to the liquid homicide. The covered-in-sweat driver brings a bent cigarette to his sullen lips as his conscience dances in the passenger seat. Dust clouds behind the roaring rusty metal. The black hamster bites my finger. I rejoin my friends in front of the black television. I never got around to plugging it in.

Note: I took my dream and changed it around and ended up changing completely what it was about, but I still was able to use a lot of the same lines that I liked. Tell me what you think, please.

Note 2: I hate poetry. :)

A Dream.

It was just a dream I had last night.

It was summer-time in my hometown and I was wrangling my hamsters back into their cages. A couple old high school buddies were over enjoying a black television screen lying on the floor with their bent legs up in the air. What was so funny about a television that wasn't plugged in? There was a danger in my blood. I felt something bad approaching as the wind blew in through the half open front door. The sun, however still high enough to light the town, was sinking and creating half-hearted shadows on my face as I peered out the window next to the half-opened front door. Barreling down the part tar, part gravel road next to our innocent, terrified home was a tank of only imaginary sorts. It was like a semi that had been flattened in the back and the cab was sea-foam green. An awful sound of Death grinding a dull knife on a broken sidewalk filled the ears of the neighborhood. Not neighborhood anymore. Our house was the only two-bath box spared. My hamsters in my grasp; the black one in the left and the brown one in the right, I raced to the back door to watch the semi-gone-sour make a crescent moon around the front and loop into the recently-uprooted field to the East. I watched the covered-in-sweat driver lift a bent cigarette to his sullen lips as his conscience danced around him in the passenger seat. He kept driving. My parents, not home yet with my new baby sister, had left a note. Watch for trouble and a solitary M to sign the simple message. At least that's what I think it said. My sister had been born sixteen years ago. It has taken a long time to bring her home. The black hamster in my left bit my finger. I stood watching the dust clouding behind the trailer that carried no weapons, no bombs, no danger. I placed the hamsters back in their cages and rejoined my friends in front of the black television.




I was just going to retell my dream to you, but it starting making its way into a sort of prose poem. I think I'm going to rewrite it later to make it more of a prose poem and take it to poetry class with me.

And More Heroes.

I've been catching myself up with the season two episodes. I'm on episode six right now and I will watch seven as well before I go to bed tonight. Then I will be completely caught up and will be able to actually watch next week's episode on television! I'm really excited!

This week is dragging.

I wish it was December 20th. This semester will officially be over and I will be preparing to move. Now, that's exciting.

Coffee and Bananas.

I woke up this morning to work on a paper. I am on my third cup of coffee and my hunger pains have been calmed by a bruising banana. Its brothers and sisters are sitting next to my coffee maker. It's a small world...after all.

Happy Monday Friends.

Something Wonderful.

I had a very bad day yesterday. I was alone and sad and being ignored by people who should never want to ignore me. But I got a call last night to make my night, and several other days surrounding this phone call, wonderful and happy and needed.

My friend Sarena called and said she had gone to the doctor yesterday. They called her and told her she was ten days pregnant! I'm so happy for her! And I'm excited because I get to be Auntie Kaylee. Her and her husband, Dan, are very very excited. She said that when she told him yesterday he was down on his knees crying in happiness.

This is definitely the kind of news I needed to hear last night. To forget everything else. Even if I am not the one having the baby I still feel the need to be with her while she is going through all of the doctor's appointments and worry and happiness and everything else that goes along with having a baby. I feel needed and that is a wonderful feeling...especially when it ends with having a baby to hold. This is so exciting and it hasn't even completely hit me yet!

I don't care about not being invited places anymore; I don't care about being ignored by those people that should never ignore me; and I certainly don't care if they plan things behind my back. That is all gone now. The only think I can think about now is helping Sarena and being the best friend for her that I have always wanted for myself.

Please pray for Sarena and Dan and their baby. I'll definitely be keeping you posted on how things go. How could I not? A baby?!

Have a great day.

Heroes.

When the show, Heroes, was first advertised on NBC I wasn't at all turned on to it. I mean, it seemed like it had a good story, but lately most shows have been starting off good and then going into some weird other place that makes no sense. Writers seem to be losing their touch. That's why I was so skeptical about this show. I didn't watch the first season. I watched one episode with Shane last semester and didn't really pay attention. Last weekend when Shane was down he got me to watch the very first episode - his brother has the Season One DVD collection. I was hooked. This morning I just finished the first season of episodes. And I'm even more hooked that I was before. It is a great show. And that's all I have to say about that.

Yesterday was Halloween. I had to work, but I still dressed up. I was the only one to dress up! No one seems to have fun with Halloween anymore. It's kind of sad, really.

Anyway, I should find something else to do. Have a good day everybody!

The Weekend Is Nearing.

Tomorrow is Friday. Actually today is really early Friday. This week has been okay; although I miss Shane like crazy.

I have my midterm exam in Grammar tomorrow. I have a response paper to hand in tomorrow for Lit, as well. Tomorrow is officially the last day of and midterms I have to take this semester. It's exciting. However, the end of midterms only means one thing - the coming of the dreaded Finals. *terrible screams echo off of stony alley walls...and more scary things...*

If any of you have access to my MySpace or my Facebook profile please take a look at my new photos from Fall Break. Both albums are labeled Fall Break '07. I think there's some pretty great pictures.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a great weekend and great upcoming last week of October.

Afterward...

I just got back from North Platte. Last night on my way home my "Low Engine Coolant" light came on so I turned around and went back to North Platte to get some of that stuff. :) Actually Shane got it and put it in my car. He's so sweet. By the time that got done, though, I was tired and just stayed there another night. Woke up early this morning and hit the interstate again. My car was fine.

I think Shane is going to try to come down here this weekend - maybe Saturday until Sunday night. I hope.

Just Try and Make Me.

I don't want to go back to Kearney tonight. I know I have been here for four days, but it only feels like four hours - at most.

I woke up this morning dreading the coming evening. It's sad. Shane is in class right now - I hope he'll come home for lunch again. Not like we have anything but leftovers. And I really hope they get out of class early like they did yesterday.

Well, I guess there's nothing for me to do except take a shower and walk downtown for some coffee.

So maybe I am an addict.

Weekend Over.

The weekend may be over, but it is still Fall Break.

I'll be in North Platte until tomorrow evening probably.

This is how the weekend played out: I got here Friday night and picked up the house until two in the morning and then I went to bed. Saturday I woke up and waited for Shane to get back from work. He was home earlier that he said he might be. We went to Movie Gallery and rented three movies to watch. They were all good movies. I made us mini-pizzas for lunch - they were really good but filling. We got ice cream for dessert but we didn't eat it. We took a nap at 5ish, until around 8. We got up went back to Walmart and stopped at Wendy's for supper. We came back to the house and ate our Wendy's and watched the last of the three movies we rented.

We went to bed around midnight that night. Yesterday, so far, was one of the greatest "normal" days I've spent with Shane. We had plans to go to church in the morning with his friend Marcello, but he never let us know what time church started, never called at all, so we just slept in until noon. Almost a full twelve hours of sleep - that doesn't happen too often. We got up and went to Walmart again so Shane could get the stuff he needed to make me dinner. Meatloaf! It turned out delicious!!! He also made au gratin taters and corn for the sides. While at Walmart this time I bought us some Oreos - I thought we could crunch them up and put them on our ice cream for dessert. Guess what. We still didn't have ice cream last night! Okay I skipped ahead and missed one of the best parts! That coffee house I mentioned in my previous post...well, he took me there and bought me a latte. It was so sweet! He even tried it!!! Anyway...the reason we didn't get ice cream last night...while he was making dinner he asked me to tell him some parts of the book I'm writing and I asked him if he had any thoughts or suggestions. After we got done eating he wanted to go for a walk, so we drove out to Cody Park and walked around. He started rattling off all these ideas I should have in my book. I loved all of them! He is so good at making up stories - I had no idea. Anyway, we came back to the house so I could grab my notebook to take notes. We just drove around for awhile as he kept coming up with more ideas.

We get back last night and hung out for a bit. He had some homework to finish before his class this morning so he did that while I watched The Lost Boys - I needed to watch it because I'm making reference to it in my book. Cheesy, I know.

All yesterday I was doing laundry, it was nice. Today we're getting new screen doors put in so I had to wake up. I'm going to do the dishes that Shane said he would do last night. And I probably should pick up the house again. You would think the house is too tiny to get too messy. Ha!...it's bad.

I don't know when Shane is going to be done with his class. Hopefully not too late. I'm thinking about making him dinner tonight but I don't think we have anymore room in the fridge for leftovers! It's a pretty small fridge.

Well I'm off to do the dishes!

Where's The Coffee?

I want to preface this entry by saying I am NOT a coffee-addict as some people might think. (Shane...who else?)

Anyway, this weekend I will be going to North Platte to spend some much-needed quality time with Shane. Shane does not drink coffee. The house does not yet have a coffee maker in it. I do not want to take the time to pack my coffee maker up to take with me for just a couple of days. So, where will I get my coffee in the morning? This is very unnerving for me. I might just lose it.

I did notice that there is a little coffee shop a few blocks away from the house. I wonder if they deliver.

Let's hope they do. If not...well, I don't want to know what will happen.

A Secret.

I have a dirty little secret. Actually it's not dirty - it' s black. And it is actually very little. You don't get to know. I just thought it would be fun to make you curious. Did it work? Sorry.

I have hit another brick wall as it comes to my story. My "train" of thought is too crushed to back up and go a different direction.

Ya know, know that I think about that phrase "I've lost my train of thought" I feel like I should analyze it and make sure it makes sense. I've been doing this lately with things that involve trains - poor Shane, he has to put up with this.

Okay...obviously trains are big, massive even, and very hard to lose. So that definition is already out the window (that is, if a lost train could fit through a window.) A train could make a big boo-boo and fall off the tracks (that of course wouldn't be the train's fault, but rather the people inside) - I guess this could relate to thought. You're thinking, thinking, thinking, NOT thinking. Sometimes the thought process just stops. Buuut, a train doesn't just "stop" they slow down and slow down some more and slow down some more...and finally the quit moving - so I guess that's out, too. Usually when you "lose your train of thought" it's because you are interrupted and forgot what it was you were talking about, correct? Trains go forward and that is it. They can be turned around, yes, but with much work about it. If a train has to be switched to a different track it continues going forward but it slightly veers to either the right or the left, that is all. I don't think the statement "I've lost my train of thought" is appropriate. It should be "My train of thought has veered slightly to the left and I have changed my mind about my previous argument." Now, doesn't that sound better?

I'm going to finish my coffee and ponder over more figures of speech. Good bye.

My Fish.

Yoda is doing just fine. He is annoying and spastic but I love him and he's entertaining.

Bubs is not doing well. A a couple weeks ago I noticed that his beautiful dark red scales were turning a dirty brown color and that the little bit of green on his tail fin was fading into a disgusting yellow. I also noticed that his eyes were bubbly. That's the only way I know to describe his eyes. They weren't normal. His gills are turning pale as if he isn't getting enough circulation to them. He's not at moody or as playful as he usually is. He just hangs out right under the surface of his water. When I put in food in the morning he swims around like he's going to get it but he never does. I'm starting to think he's having trouble seeing it. Just now he's started swimming around but it's not a graceful betta-fish swim; it's choppy and looks forced. All of his food ends up on the bottom of his bowl uneaten. He's either sick and going to die from whatever he has, or he's going to starve to death. Because he's a fish there's really nothing I can do until he dies.

I wish he'd get better. It might sound silly, but please pray for my fishie to get better. He's a pretty cool fish and I know you'd love him if you saw him. Thanks.

I Am Writing Again!

I pulled out my story again today. I figured it was about time to start working on that again if I ever want to get it published someday. I have written about five new pages tonight (once they're typed.)

I'm excited about how it's turning out. I wish that Shelly and I could get together to make our halves of the book unite, but unfortunately we just don't really have the time. I think it might happen that we go our separate ways on this book and make it two books. And then later, in the future, we'll get together and write a different book together! A very awesome book...with pages and everything!

I wish my story was done so I could let people read it, but it's not. At least I can enjoy it right?

Anyway, wish me luck - I'll need it to finish this dang thing. Love you all!

A Rainy Monday Morning.

It is hard to wake up when the sky is still dark and there is a mist in the air. The cold draft sneaking through your window eases you back under the covers and your eyes snap back together and lock. Somehow the key gets lost and magically your alarm clock gets turned off.

Then your coffee maker kicks on and the fresh aroma of Irish Creme tickles your nose and you're drug out of your cozy blanket haven. Shivering, you pour a cup of the delicious warmness from the pot and savor the slow spreading warmth through your body as you take tiny sips so as not to burn your mouth.

This was my morning. I'm still cold and my blankets are calling to me.

Right now I'm watching A Baby Story on Discovery Health. I love these kind of shows. They're bad for me to watch, though. After I watch them I really just want to go up to North Platte, get married, and start having babies. Who can blame me though? I meant to be a mommy!

I hope everyone's Monday is warm, cuddly, and fun!

Coffee and Cookies.

I always used to think my Grandpa was silly to dunk his cookies in his coffee. But I've found that it is actually quite wonderful! It's just like milk only hot and the coffee taste only adds greatness to the cookie taste!

It's Friday and I've come to terms with the fact that I may never have a real weekend again.

What?

I have absolutely no motivation to do anything! I don't want to go to class, do my homework, or go to work even though I really need the money. I've been making myself get up at around 8:30 every morning and by the time noon comes around I'm completely dead tired again and just want to go to bed. I don't know. Maybe it's just the change of the seasons.

How is everyone else doing?

Our New House.

I'm in North Platte again this weekend. But there's something special about this weekend.

We moved Shane into our house. I, of course, won't be moving in for awhile...but it's great to have a house!!!

It's small, but we don't need much room. I think it's very cute and we can make it look cuter! I'm very excited!!! I'll post pictures of our place later - maybe I should take some pictures first. What d'ya think? :)

Almost One-Hundred.

This is my 99th post.

I am still having problems trying to accomplish what I want with my life - rather, our life. Shane and I are starting to plan our future together and there are some people trying to stand in our way. No, not trying, they are in the way.

I just wish I had the freedom to tell them what I really want and feel without them giving me the guilt trip and making me hate myself. I don't think it's supposed to work that way.

Please, pray for me. I really need it.

To all: a wonderful week!

I Need My Glasses To See.

Shane came down this weekend. It was great to have him around for 2 days! Friday night we rented Zodiac (the new one) - it was really good. Saturday we watched a little of the parade that ended here at the college. Saw my mom and sister. I had to work until 8 that night but afterward I went to Shane's parents' house to hang out with him and his brothers. We ended up coming back to Kearney to buy a movie that they thought I really needed to see. Bio-Dome...hilarious! Then we went to bed. Today we woke up and hung out for awhile. Then his parents made a wonderful lunch of lasagna! I had to work at 4 - until 10. Shane came in to see me before he headed back to North Platte. He's back now and sleeping. I should be sleeping but I cannot fall asleep!

I'm so tired from having a boring day at work, buuuut - my body is restless despite my tired eyes.

Well, I'm going to TRY to sleep. Bleh.

To all: A Happy Monday Morning!

I Hope.

I hope this weekend goes accordingly to my wants. I know I have to work all day Saturday - 11-8. That's okay. I don't know if I have to work on Sunday yet. I probably will have to. Marsha said she wanted me to come over on Sunday to either watch the game or to watch a movie with her. I really want to but...I still might have to work. Then today Shane told me he might have Saturday and Sunday off! So...that would be awesome if he could come down here again. Or something.

But...I still might have to work. I hope that if I have to work it's not a 9-hour shift again. Just a few hours so I can still have some weekend to enjoy. If not, though, maybe I'll get next weekend off. I'm too hopeful I think.

I work tonight and then I'm going to bed. I'm tired and I didn't get up more than 2 hours ago. Bleh! What's wrong with me!?

Happy September Tuesday Third Day!

I wouldn't ask about it if I were you.

Shane's coming down here today. He should be here within the next twenty minutes! I can't wait!

Mom and Taylor are also going to be in town so, yay! I get to see almost everyone I love today! We're just missing a couple people.

I guess I don't really have much to say right now. I'm sick of my classes and I'm sick of these headaches. They came back. Yippy.

To All: Adios.

Another Wonderful Weekend!

Saturday after work I got my oil changed and I headed to North Platte. And can you guess what I did there? That's right! I saw my Shane!!! I stayed with him and his dad at the Holiday Inn Saturday night. This morning Shane and I went to Perkins for breakfast and I headed back to Kearney around 12:30. I had to work at 3. But seeing Shane was wonderful while it lasted. I can't wait to see him again.

Work was pretty boring. It was my first day on my own. That part went well. But Sunday evenings are soooooo uneventful. I left at 9 and came back to my room and wrote a paper that is due tomorrow. That was fun. Really, it was.

I thought I missed the new Jeff Dunham special on comedy central. And I was sad. It was just getting over when I called Shane this evening after work. But they replayed it at 10 so I'm watching it now. I can't wait to buy it! It's so hilarious!

To all: Good laughs.

New Work.

Tonight was my second night of work at Apple Market. I'm really liking it there. The girls are fun to talk to and a few of the sackers are fun, too. Checking of course isn't that hard. I checked for almost 5 hours straight tonight so I got pretty used to the registers. I have to work tomorrow 10-2. It's my last day of training. All I have to do is check while Shelly watches me and makes sure I do alright. Easy.

After work I'm getting my oil changed - and my oil filter - and a bunch of other fluids. And...then...I'm heading to North Platte to see Shane! Yay! I'll stay until Sunday around noon. I have to get back by three that afternoon 'cause I have to work again. That's alright though. I don't want to spoil myself and Shane too much. Ha.

We're reading Frankenstein for my Reading & Writing About Literature class. I've read most of it before - clear back in high school. I didn't like it back then. Maybe my mind has matured or something because I'm enjoying it this time. It just takes a while to read, there's a lot of words and a lot of details you have to pick up on in such short chapters. But it's good, and that makes me happy.

I better get to bed soon. Or I might not wake up for work tomorrow. And we don't want that.

To all: A great weekend!

Last Paycheck.

This morning I went to Walmart and picked up my very last paycheck from that place that I don't like to be. Yay!

I started training at Apple Market yesterday. I think I'm really going to like working there. Not only does my best friend Shelly work there, buuut...it's so much better a work environment that Walmart is! Sure, there's the cranky customers and the cranky workers, but you have to multiply that by 20 to get the total crankiness ratio from Apple Market to Walmart.

Tonight is my poetry night-class. I hope tonight goes better than the other nights. After this class time though we will only have 12 more poetry classes this semester! It's only one night a week, so I just have to count down weeks. It's fun to do - once we get down to 9 weeks left, I'm going to overly thrilled!

I better go and read Frankenstein - It's actually not too bad of a book.

To all: A wonderful Thursday.

Ninety-second.

I was just rereading and updating my other two blogs I have online.

On one of those blogs in particular I posted a new updating blog that I felt I should link you to. I'm sure you all know everything that is in the blog, but I feel it is very well written and it would be a shame to not at least direct you to it. Now, you don't have to feel obligated to open the link. But I felt I must give you the chance, at least.

Oh, Just Randomness.

There. My job is done; but I will keep typing.

Tonight I went to a movie for my film class. Holiday starring Katherine Hepburn and Cary Grant. It was a very good movie and I want to watch it again. In fact, I want to own it. I told Shane that it would make a very good Christmas or birthday present if he felt like getting me something. Ha, I think I'll probably get it.

I feel accomplished tonight. I went to both of my classes, lunch, and the movie for my film class. I ate supper alone (that should feel sad, but ironically it felt good.) I went to WalMart after the movie and bought only necessities: bottled water, breakfast bars, Kleenex, and trash bags. No splurging for this girl tonight. When back in my room, I cleaned Bubs's bowl and now he can see out and I can see in. After doing the much needed bowl-cleaning I cleaned my bathroom counters and the sink and washed my dishes which called for another sink-cleaning when I finished. I have tomorrow planned out well enough to call it good and I feel alright. I guess there's always a little something to be said for organization and wise time-usage.

And now that I have used up enough cyber-paper on this blog I will use some before-bed freetime to enjoy a little television, a little teeth-brushing, and finally and little relaxing bed-laying.

To all: A good-night.

Mondays?

I had a stupid moment this morning. You're not going to know what I did.

Class was boring today, as will be my Grammar class that I have to leave for in ten to fifteen minutes.

My dreams were really odd last night. I don't think I could begin to explain them!

I start working at AppleMarket on Wednesday. I'm pretty excited because I get to be trained by Shelly! Yay!

Lately, I've been very tired, and no matter how much I sleep I just can't shake it. Maybe tonight I'll go to bed as early as I possibly can! Yeah right.

Good and Bad.

So, Shannon to answer your question. Yes, something happened but I had also been planning on leaving soon. And actually...I already have a job! I went to take in my application to Apple Market where my friend Shelly works, and they gave me an interview right then! So I think I'm going to be starting next week sometime! I'm excited!

However, there was a downside of the day. Well, let me start at the beginning. This afternoon I went to Pet Kingdom to look at the fish. There are some really pretty ones that I want to get. But I had to go to Walmart first to get a small one-gallon aquarium. Shelly, Mandy and I went to Walmart and bought the little aquarium this evening. And after we got back we went for a walk. After the walk I came back to my room to set up the aquarium so it was ready for me to bring a new fishie home tomorrow afternoon. Well...I was going to say hi to my other two fishies. And I discovered that Stewie, the comet goldfish, was dead. I'm okay, I didn't cry or anything! But I've had him for awhile, a long time for a goldfish in my possession at least. We had a funeral and I'm asking everyone to take a moment of silence for Stewie tomorrow, Thursday the 13th, at 1:45pm central time. I'd really appreciate it. And I'm sure he would appreciate it on his way to Fishie Heaven, which coincidentally, is also People Heaven! Yay!

Have a good night, day, and other. Loves.

This Is How It Goes.

Yesterday I quit working at Wal-Mart.

Today I went to class and did homework.

Tomorrow I will go to class and take my applications to the stores I applied at.

Thursday I will go to my two classes.

Friday is undecided.

And that is how it goes.

A Wonderful Weekend!

This wonderful weekend brought to in part by The Kaylee Loves Shane Foundation.
...and also by...
Viewers Like You.

Uhm...

Anyway - Saturday after I got off of work I went back home for a few hours (long that I'd wanted) to see the family. I was hoping to get on the road to North Platte around 6:30 - well, that turned into 8 because of set-backs caused by none other than, Dad. That's okay - that's over now.

Well, I got into Sutherland a little after 10pm and hung out with Shane. We eventually went to bed 'cause I was tired, and he was too. All night he was doing some weird walking-and-talking in his sleep and for most of the night he was sleeping in the living room on the couch instead of in the bedroom with me...that's alright.

Today we woke up and had breakfast/lunch with his aunt and uncle. Then the four of us drove around Sutherland looking at houses for sale or rent. We didn't see anything we really liked - or that was in our price range. Later, after the Broncos game (they won) Shane and I went into North Platte to hang out. We spent the majority of our time in Wal-Mart; don't we always? We drove around some carlots and he showed me around town. We ate at Whiskey Creek and headed back to Sutherland so I could get headed back to Kearney.

The drive back was okay. Lonely, after having been with Shane all day. Traffic was traffic. It rained for probably an hour out of the two hours I was on the road. It was a nice rain - I barely had to use my wipers. I listened to good music and sang all the way back.

Oh, I forgot to mention! Last February (2006) on Valentine's day I sprained my left ankle. Well, it never really healed all the way. And just Saturday at work it really started hurting again. I think I must have twisted it or turned on it weird. It was hurting so bad today that we had to go to Wal-Mart a second time to get a brace for my ankle. With the brace on, it feels much better, but I can still feel where the tendon is just not right.

Anyway, that was my wonderful weekend. Brought to you by the letter W, and the number 3!

Adult Speaking.

I am twenty years old, yes? You would think by now if I would try to have an adult conversation with my mother that we could successfully meet that goal. No.

I just asked her a simple question about this weekend and she gets all defensive about something that doesn't even matter! I think we're finally getting to the point where my parents know they can't make all my decisions for me, but now they're just going to be mean about it. They're not just going to give their opinion and politely step back and wait to see what decision I make. They're going to defensively state their opinion and then breathe down my neck until I conform to their wishes. I can't keep doing that! For once...please, once, I want to make my up my own mind about something that doesn't even concern them!

I've come to terms that I wasn't raised the way I should have been raised and that I've been lied to for my entire existence by the two people that should never lie to me - my parents. They tell me to learn from their mistakes, not my own, but they won't admit to their mistakes! I find them out for myself and then whimper in my little corner until I can manage to forgive them for doing such a thing - and they don't even know I know! I'm forgiving two people that don't ask to be forgiven by their daughter because they don't even know enough about their daughter to realize that she's not stupid!

If they want me to be my own person then let me make a few decisions from time to time! Don't make me YOUR person. Let me make a mistake and let me live with the consequences of my mistake. Let me take a chance on something and if I don't like what I've done make ME turn around and try to correct what I've done. I understand parents want to shelter their kids from everything that's bad, but they have no right to tell me what to do in this situation when I know the truth. They can lie and deny it all they want, but I know, and I won't make the mistake they made, because I'm not that irresponsible! I'm smart enough to know to say no when I need to. And I'm smart enough to get myself out of something before I get too deep in trouble that I can't make it out.

They tell me to do all these things, and still I don't know what they want from me. I hurt knowing that somehow I've disappointed my parents, but I've only disappointed them by doing what they tell me. That may not make sense to you, but I understand full well. Hypocritical, that's what it is. They can shelter me from everything they want to shelter me from, but what kind of person does that make me? I feel useless, dumb, and sick because of everything I've been sheltered from. I come to college and I'm so unexperienced with so much that I can't fit in. They tell me to do this and do that, and I try, but I don't know how. They don't realize that they never taught me how to do the things I need to do to accomplish everything they wanted of me. I've failed trying to become what they wanted; I tried so hard and fell harder everytime because I missed the lessons. I missed the world. I missed every chance I could have taken to be something great, because I was spending all my time trying to figure out how to make it happen. I didn't - and still don't - take any chances. I'm too afraid that my next step will be the wrong one.

How can anybody live their life like that? Afraid to do anything because they don't want to fail? You have to fail at something to become good at something else. But I never found what I was good at because I was busy failing for my parents. I tried so damn hard, but I never knew what I was supposed to do and why.

This is one big circle. And how do I make it stop? I could turn a corner. Circles have no corners. What will my corner be?

Allergies, Colds, and Tummy Aches.

You all know I have terrible allergies this allergy season. But what you are about to find out is that I woke up this morning with a cold on top of my allergies! And furthermore...I have a tummy ache!
I went to Walmart today to get my paycheck and by my mom her birthday present. I stocked up on the Vicks vapor rub, and the Sudafed, and Kleenex. Bleh, it needs to freeze outside and soon!

Saturday after work I'm going back home to Wilcox to give mom her birthday present and see the family. Sunday morning I'm heading up to North Platte to see Shane for the day. It'll be great to see him, but it'll be even harder to say goodbye this time!

I have my night class tonight and I'm sure I'll fall asleep in it. I'm so tired today from all the head congestion and I probably won't have time for a nap. Oh well, class is nothing important haha.

Slowing Down.

The rush of the first week of school is slowing down finally. And we're all getting back into our rut of not being able to wake up with enough time to make yourself look decent for class. Those assignments we write down in the wrong notebook get forgotten until we're sitting in class. And we start noticing a slight stench of B.O. coming from each classroom as the end of summer gets hotter before it cools down.

Aw, such is the life of a college student. I'm excited that this is going to be my last semester here at UNK. Sure I'll be leaving behind teachers that I really like, friends that I've made, and friends that I've had forever. But it's time for this change. It's much welcomed.

Building up enough confidence to stand up to your parents and say "I'm leaving" and "I'm making this decision on my own" takes time and so much patience. Reflecting back to childhood you never thought you'd be making decisions like this, nor did you ever think you'd know how. But my time has come to break away and become the decision-making twenty year old that I need to be. I only hope that my parents understand and support me and don't become overwhelmingly upset with me that they don't want much to do with me anymore. I'm sure that latter won't happen to the highest degree, but something of that nature could happen.

I'm nervous to be leaving and starting something brand new in my life. I know Shane and I will be happy and whatever happens will work out. But there's always something saying "what if." In this case, that something is my mom. Sure it's wonderful to question and doubt sometimes. But then there's those times when you just have to do whatever it is you think to do! If you wait around your whole life not doing what you want because all those what ifs get in the way, you'll never do anything. You won't step up and meet that guy you've been looking for. You won't say yet if that guy asks you to marry him. You'll be too scared to move far away for a job that sounds amazing. You won't have kids because you'll never have enough money. All these things are things you just need to do. Only dwell on the what ifs if your plan is to talk yourself out of something. But if it's something you truly want to do, don't think, just do.

That's all I have to say right now. I have to go to class.

Wedding Dress.

I am happy to announce that I have found the wedding dress I want to have for my wedding. If I can't get this exact dress I want the one I do get to look similar to this one.

And I want the red on it like it shows up on the screen. Tell me what you think!

Wedding Dress.

Allergies Go Away.

My hayfever is killing me this year! My eyes hurt so bad I feel the only way to make them stop hurting is by gouging out my eyeballs and feeding them to my fish. That's not graphic at all.

My nose isn't just stuffy, it's completely blocked. There's a guard with a gun and everything. Nothing must come out! I'm sure my voice sound awful nasely but I can't help it!

Anyway, Shane called me at 6ish this morning. He started his job at 8ish this morning. He's training right now.

Last night I spent hours uploading all my Colorado pictures to MySpace and Facebook. You should check them out. They're pretty cool.

I don't remember if I said before, but I got Shane's blanket done. I'm excited that it's done - it looks really cool. I'm happy!

Well, I better go. I think I need to just lie down for awhile and hope my breathing returns to normal.

Work, Shane, and My Girls.

Work was alright tonight. My mind keeps telling me that I have to keep myself busy or else I'll start thinking too much about how I miss Shane. So at work I ran. I didn't stop the whole night except when I had to take a break for fifteen minutes (we have to) and I needed to file a nail down because it cracked. Ladieswear looked amazing when I left tonight.

I talked to Shane about an hour after work. He was kind of bored. And tired. And sun burned. He misses me and I miss him. What's new?

I went to Amanda's room tonight and Shelly and Trevor came over. We watched a little bit of a movie, made a chocolate run to Walmart, and then hung out and watched country music videos from 1997 and 1998 and sang along because we knew all of them. I really needed to hang out with the girls and Trevor. I needed to be away from things that remind me too much of Shane. It's not that I want to forget about Shane - it's not possible anyway - I just need to focus on other things so as not to break down crying.

Before I went to Amanda's I finished Shane's blanket. All I really need to do is to cut off all the strings, wrap it, and give it to him. I'm not going to wait until Christmas to give it to him like I had earlier planned. He'll get it next time I see him - but it'll still be considered a Christmas present. Of course, he'll still get more things from me, too!

I'm very happy right now. I miss Shane like crazy, but he's out there starting a new job and getting ready for us to settle down, eventually get married and have babies. I can't wait! All I've ever wanted in life was to be a loving wife with an amazing husband and have adorable babies! And my dream has been coming true since January. It's the best feeling in the world! Of course, to achieve any goal you must make sacrifices. And my sacrifice was being away from Shane for a few months. He sacrificed the same - only being away from me.

I love being happy. I hope you're all happy too!

Sundays and Homework.

It is Sunday. I woke later than I thought I should this morning. I slept in an extra hour and then laid in bed for another half and hour just contemplating life and death. Alright, actually I didn't much at all. Especially about life and death.

I did much of my homework this morning. I had a lot of reading to do. I'm an English major - what do you expect? Tonight after work I have to type up some notes I had to take for some of my reading to hand in on Tuesday. I don't get why we have to take notes and then hand them in. Don't you usually take notes to keep for your own personal use? Maybe it's just me, but it seems strange.

We don't have classes tomorrow due to the amazing Labor Day. I still have to work in the evening but it's only for four and a half hours. I think I can handle that. The campus is very empty this weekend. Everybody seems to have gone home for the weekend except me. That's okay - I like the quiet.

One request for everyone that reads my blog. Please send me your mailing address. And if you send it to me and then it changes, please keep me updated. If you don't want to give me your address through a comment here on my blog, email it to me at: kayleeallyn@gmail.com. Thank you!

Big Change.

Shane left this morning. He starts his job on Tuesday. I don't know when I'm going to get to see him again.

I feel really lost right now. Usually he's still at Wal-Mart working when I get off of work on Saturdays. And today he wasn't there. I called him and he didn't answer - bad reception probably.

It's that hollow feeling you get when something you're so used to changes suddenly.

I sit here thinking I should have looked into his eyes two minutes longer this morning before saying goodbye. I wish I would have hugged him tighter and said I love you once more.

Yes, I'll see him again. And yes, I'll talk to him everyday. But this is so hard. And I hope that no one will ever have to feel this way. And if you have, I pray you never have to feel it again.

I don't know if I should find something to do to get my mind off of being sad, or if it's better to just sit here and think. I don't really feel like doing anything, but I have much homework this weekend. And it's all reading. I can't concentrate on a text book on a normal day. And this isn't a normal day. I'd probably end up tearing the pages into pieces and not realize it.

I really want to call a friend and see if they want to do something. I know Sarena and Dan are free this afternoon. Reason-not-to One: I really do need to try and do some homework. Reason-not-to Two: The last time I hung out with Sarena and Dan Shane was there with me and that'll make me sad. And also I would probably get jealous of Sarena because she can be with Dan. Reason-not-to Three: I don't think I can move all that much. It took a lot to actually do work today at Wal-Mart; and I had to do a lot today.

I know my friends are around and supportive and they love me. But I don't want to be the party-pooper, in a sense. I don't want to doubt myself and start feeling like they're hanging out with me out of sympathy.

I'm scared to listen to music in fear that any song will make me think of Shane and I'll start to cry.

And I'm scared to turn on the television to my favorite channels because my favorites are also Shane's favorites and we watched our favorite shows together.

I don't want to take a nap because Shane laid on my bed.

And I really don't want to think because when I do I think about Shane first of all and I become more sad.

Okay, I'm done writing this feeling-sorry-for-myself blog. I'm going to eat something because I haven't all day, and I'm going to try and do some homework, and then, depending on the time, I'm going to find something else to keep me entertained. Maybe I'll go to Hastings and rent a movie Shane doesn't like.

Love.

A Question.

How do you get your parents to listen to you? I'm sure I've tried pretty much everything except the attempted suicide thing - and I would NEVER try that.

And how do you get your parents to let you make your own decisions? They just won't let me do it.

And how can you trust your parents to help you make the right decisions when they tell you straight-out that they wish they would have made different decisions when they were younger.

If your mom tells you that you should stay in college and get a degree so you can be your own person, and say I do what she says, doesn't that make me the person she wants me to be?

When it comes down to it should I just do what I want and not even run it by them first?

If I always do what they say will they always have that power over me?

Are they doing this because they don't want to lose their baby girl? Or are they doing it because they like the power parents supposedly have?

Those are some questions.

As you can tell I'm having some issues with my parents. This is the first time I've had problems with them like this - it's never been this bad. But I'm getting sick of them trying to control every aspect of my life, sure I value their opinion and agree with them about certain things. But they can't tell me to do whatever they want whenever they want me to do it. I need to be my own person and make my own decisions and if that means making my own mistakes and learning from them, fine. I'd rather be mad at myself for choosing to do something then be mad at them for making me do something I didn't want to do.

If you have any advice, it would be greatly appreciated.

Love.

And Away...!

I only have one class today. Film As Literature. It should be fun. Shelly might be taking that class so that'll make it better no matter what the class is like.

So, I'm not dropping Spanish. But I'm going to be struggling through it all semester.

It's hot again today. It was only supposed to get up to 85 and it was supposed to rain. Either happened. It's probably 90ish degrees and just humid.

After class today Shane and I are going to hang out and then this evening I think we're going to do something with Dan and Sarena.

How is life for everyone else?

School Days...

I'm dropping Spanish. I just can't do it. And don't tell me that I can - because I'll poke you in the eye. I haven't had any Spanish classes since my Sophomore year in high school and this is my third year of college - it's been awhile.

If I start taking classes at a community college when I move in with Shane I'll take a foreign language then - and I'll hope it isn't has hard. Either way, it's Spanish - I'm not good with foreign languages - especially I'm not around them enough. Sure there's lots of Spanish speaking student at UNK, but I don't have any classes with them and I really don't hang out with people outside of work and my three girls.

I don't know - it stinks. I have nothing against the Spanish language - I just have a lot against me learning it when I'm not going to need it for writing a novel and raising my children. *shrugs*

The rest of my classes went well today. Reading and Writing About Lit is going to be different but it'll be fine. Grammar will be fun - I like the teacher.

Anyway...I'm going to lay down and drink a nice cold soda before I have to go to work.

And I apologize for being away from my blog for so long. But I'm back now and that's all that matters.

I hope everyone has a great day!!!

It's Monday.

Classes start today here at good ol' UNK. Am I excited? I guess one could answer that question with a simple NO. My first class this semester is Spanish. My friend Amanda is in that class with me, so we can do our homework together. Blah, I'm nervous about this class. Today I also have Reading & Writing about Liturature - shouldn't be too bad. And after lunch I have Grammar. Ah, to be an English major.

Tomorrow I only have one class and that is Film as Literature. Thursdays I have that class and my night class which is Advanced Poetry. We'll see how that goes.

After this semester I am moving. I will be withdrawing from UNK and moving in with Shane in North Platte. He starts working for the railroad on the third of September and the next four months are going to be terrible not being able to see him. Since January I've basically seen Shane everyday and very abruptly that will change come next Sunday. Of course we'll get to see each other every once in a while during those four months, but it'll still be very hard. At least I'll have plenty of homework and hours at Walmart to keep me busy.

I'm in the same room I had last semester. In Martin Hall. I have no roommate according to my request. It's nice. Amanda and Kasi still live on campus in the new building - it's nice. And Shelly lives off but close to campus so I can see her a lot! This is very good as I will need a lot of friends around me until January when I move.

My allergies are extra bad this year I think. They sure are kicking my butt at least. I hope it cools down soon - weather wise - 'cause then pollen will go bye bye! And Kaylee will be happy happy!

Anyway...gotta make my bed and head to class. Bleh, wish me luck.